New Years

 

I’ve decided that for this New Years Eve, I’m going to party like it’s 2020. You guessed it, pyjamas, fuzzy socks, maybe a movie, some comfort snacks and my family. It’s going to be epic! 

In all honesty, this holiday season has been strange, as I’m sure everyone can attest to. But looking back over this past year, I see where Kung Fu has kept me grounded. It’s been full of uncertainty, anxiety, stress and the unknown, but Kung Fu has been a constant. It’s always there, and always will be if I put in the work. And as we slide into 2021, Kung Fu will still be there, providing me structure and support, no matter what gets thrown at me.

Accountability

 

We all have things we need to accountable for, whether it’s school, work, or other activities. It’s a responsibility to ourselves and others, but doing what we say we will.

It’s not always easy though, however hopefully we all have people to help us. Teachers, bosses, parents, instructors and our peers.

The I Ho Chuan is a tool that provides both the mentorship and the peer support. To me, a goal isn’t truly accomplished unless you have someone to share it with, and that’s why we publicly pursue them. I put them in writing, for everyone to see. I train and pursue my goals publicly so that I have support along the way. I a, looking forward to next year’s team, and the continuance of accountability.

One on ones

 

I am thankful for the one on ones, for a couple of reasons. First, it allows me a chance to connect with students in ways I cannot at this time. It also teaches me, as students ask questions that get me thinking.

Sometimes we get into a rhythm that devolves into just going through the motions. Getting questions let’s me evaluate my intent and the purpose behind a technique.

The day I had...

 

Today I accomplished a lot. I finally finished the prep for all of the pumpkin we cut a few weeks ago. I cooked all 60 pounds (although less than that without the skin and guts), puréed it all and separated it into pumpkin pie sized portions.

All the while completing 800 pushups for Soke Dave McNeill’s 80th birthday. I feel pretty good about what I managed today. Both were a challenge for me, as I have never made pumpkin pie filling from scratch, and it’s been awhile since I have done a push-up challenge.

It was a great day!

Insert Insight Here...

 

I noticed this past Thursday that I don’t have much flexibility in my right ankle, or maybe it’s a lack of strength. I was leading the warmups for the teen/ adult classes when i realized that it was difficult to pivot on right foot for kicks without losing my balance.

I have noticed it before, but I haven’t truly acknowledged it for a long time. It’s an old ankle injury, so it’s no surprise, but it’s something I have to work on. Hm, I wonder if it’s why I struggle with the spinning back kick in Da Mu Hsing...

A Gift

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

- Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda

I love this quote. It reminds me that there are gifts in every situation if we stop for a moment to look. Take an injury for example, suddenly, you’re unable to train the way you have been and you’re sidelined. The gift lies in the forced change - now you have time to focus on your mental journey which is vital to your physical journey.

I’ve been there. I’ve broken ribs, broken toes, a broken ankle, whiplash, a concussion, and now a chronic back issue. However none of these have stopped me, although they could have. I was given a gift each time. A time to reevaluate my training, how I train, and a time to highlight and address my other deficiencies. I was forced to adapt and to grow, and received a chance to take my training to the next level. It’s hard to give specific examples, however they have been present.

Kung Fu has given me the gift of patience, of increased empathy and compassion, of knowing that my arbitrary limits are just that. Kung Fu has given me the gift of mastery development, a safe place to challenge myself, and another family filled with likeminded people.

Today, gave me the gift of time with 2 toddlers who brought sunshine to my day. I had the gift of teaching our smallest students, and practicing my forms. And I had the gift of time with my husband, which I always appreciate.

Today is a gift you can give to yourself.

Just Be...

 

In some previous years of my I Ho Chuan, I have taken on a requirement of mindfulness. One year was mindful walking, another was mindful hugging, and yet another was mindful eating. This year a requirement was a gratitude journal. So how do these tie together? I guess that’s a silly question, as being mindful guides us to gratitude.

I am mostly mindful when I take the dog for a walk. He meanders a lot, and sniffs even more. So it gives me time to just be. I can take moments to centre myself, to feel the earth’s energy and how everything is connected. I can be thankful for the sun on my face, the breeze at my back, and the world around me.

Yesterday, I had an opportunity to practice both mindfulness and gratitude at the same time. I took my husband’s aunt out to run errands. At 84 years old, she is still funny and full of life, even though life has slowed her down. I took the time to shut off everything and to just be in the moment with her. And I am grateful for her, for taking me in as her “niece” and to be a part of her life. She has a lot of wisdom to share, and I am thankful that she chooses to share some with me.

Our world is so busy, and we forget to stop and just breathe. We need to stop and appreciate what we have for we never know when it might be gone. And with the events of this week in our Kung Fu family, yesterday was exactly what I needed.

I Ho Chuan

 

I have been a part of the I Ho Chuan program for all except 2 years. And both of those years that I was not a part of, I felt somewhat lost. The IHC gives me more purpose, and an extra layer of accountability, both to myself and my fellow students.

It’s a year of setting goals, making plans to complete them, and taking consistent action. Ironically, this year has been the one where my goals actually shifted throughout the course of this year. I am on track for a few, turned 90 degrees in other directions for a couple of others, and one I am just picking up now.

I join this team year after year to better myself. I want more mastery in my life and I don’t want any regrets when my life is over. I have an idea of the lifestyle I want to be living when I am in my 80’s and if I stop pursuing mastery now, that lifestyle will never materialize. I am grateful for the IHC, and travelling on this journey with some amazing people!

There is no blog.

 

I have been staring at this blank page off and on for the past 3 days and this is all I have so far. But is it really a bad thing? Not if I keep trying to put my thoughts into words that make sense. I mean, while I don’t have a specific topic that I am keen on right this second, doesn’t mean that I have nothing to offer.

One such thought, is a phrase that Sifu Brinker often uses, and it’s one that without being necessarily conscious about, I know I use all of the time.

“Where am I? What am I doing?”

In fact, I thought this very thing as I stared at this blank page, and somehow I was able to push forward. I’m writing a blog to track my journey, and as I think about it, I realize that I had an aha moment this week as an instructor, and that felt really good. And that moment will translate to my training as it directly affects my eye for detail.

In a tunnel

 

I feel like I’m treading water right now. I have my goals that I have been working on, but as of right now, they are just out of reach. Stress, migraines, and and an overall sense of urgency without a purpose. Sorry, I don’t know how else to describe what where I am at.

But not to worry, this too shall pass, and I will be swimming forwards soon. There is no quitting.


I found this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh that really spoke to me:


“When you feel overwhelmed, you’re trying too hard. That kind of energy does not help the other person and it does not help you. You should not be too eager to help right away, there are two things: to be and to do. Don’t think too much about to do - to be is first. To be peace. To be joy. To be happiness. And then to do joy, to do happiness - on the basis of being. So first you have to focus on the practice of being. Being fresh. Being peaceful. Being attentive. Being generous. Being compassionate. This is the basic practice. It’s like if the other person is sitting at the foot of a tree. The tree does not do anything, but the tree is fresh and alive. When you are like that tree, sending out waves of freshness, you help to calm down the suffering in the other person.”

- Thich Nhat Hanh.

Boot to the Head?

 

A little over a week ago, my Kung Fu was put to a test. Here’s the scenario and you decide which is the correct solution.

I was out walking my dog, and as some of you know, he is a big dog in a little body. Not exactly intimidating, although your ankles might not be the same after. Anyways, as we were approaching an intersection, I noticed a somewhat shady person slowly making their way across on the other side. I kept watching, and as we approached the corner, Bark Lee and I turned towards home but opted not to cross to the sidewalk on the other side as that is where this individual was very slowly walking and watching me. We had gotten slightly ahead of him when I noticed him cross to our side of the street, which I have to say, freaked me out. Now when I lay out the two choices, please keep in mind what Kung Fu does for you.

Solution #1. I picked up my dog, ran towards the guy, dropped him with an amazing roundhouse, and walked home with confidence.


Solution #2. Called my husband immediately, who was out the door and after the guy in 2 seconds flat.

If you chose lucky number 2, then you my friend are well on your way in your Kung Fu journey. Kung Fu is not just the ability to kick butt. It’s about recognizing a situation for what it is, trusting your instincts, and hopefully not putting yourself in harms way. So yes, I have my black belt, but I don’t want to fight. As it turns out, my husband knew a relative of this guy and it turned out ok, but it’s never worth the risk.

Clint Eastwood?

 

I discovered a strange habit last night in the black belt class, and it’s not a good thing. In one particular form, my left hand is chambered differently than my right for the same technique. Hung 2 is where is discovered this odd phenomenon and so, here I go, to break it down, figure out why I am doing it this way, and then to fix it...

Air Hugs Only!!

 

I have been thinking a lot lately about compassion and Kung Fu has taught me to use it in all aspects of my life. I have seen a shift in me since I began training almost 2 decades ago. While I still occasionally make a snap judgement, I am more often likely to see something or someone with compassion. I am more accepting of people as they are, and of their character. It’s easy to label someone based on what we see in the media, or even with what we have grown up with. But Kung Fu has taught me so much more. I don’t see an aboriginal person - I see my neighbour, who ran outside in her pajamas as soon as she realized we couldn’t find our dog. I see the person dressed in goth attire with a wild hairstyle and piercings who is the most polite person I could imagine meeting. I see a homeless person who will feed their dog before they feed themselves. We never know what lies beyond what we see. And only compassion and empathy will allow that.

Choices

 

We make choices so often each day, that we are not even aware of. And these choices start as soon as we wake up. We choose to either hit the snooze button or get up and at em right away. We make choices when we get ready for the day - work out perhaps, eat breakfast , leave for the day and so on.




Most of these are made without much thought, and are more than likely made on auto pilot. These choices however, can me monumental in size when you are struggling with your mental health. Over this past month or so, I’ve had to dig deep most days to get out of bed, and deeper still to not crawl back in. Every day I have chosen to keep moving forward. I chose to fight back against my mind, and I have been the victor with each choice. Except yesterday. I stopped fighting long enough to lay down in afternoon, but when my husband called, I was reminded to keep fighting. And so I got up and got moving again. Depression didn’t win, I did.




Going to Kung Fu was good for me. I considered staying home as I wasn’t sure I could handle interaction with people. But you guys aren’t just people. You guys continually inspire me and motivate me. I chose instead to go to class, and it did me so much good. I had a chat with a tiny tiger not too long ago about this exact thing. He didn’t participate in class, and my normally very smiley student was sad. During my chat with him after, I told him I had days where I didn’t want to come to class but I did anyway. And those were always my best classes. And it’s true to this very day.




If you don’t feel like doing it, do it anyway. You will always come out ahead.

 

I fell asleep during Tai Chi...

 

Awareness of yourself is multifaceted. You are aware of your acts of kindness, hopefully aware of your emotions, and aware of where you fit in society. However, being aware of yourself in Kung fu requires a little more. It’s feeling how your body moves, comparing it to how it should look, and questioning what is going on when things don’t quite add up. But these questions should be first asked of yourself. Always relying on someone else to tell you what’s wrong doesn’t provide you with any tools for the future. Blasting through a form, while it might feel good, doesn’t mean it is good. And so you have to develop self awareness. How? Always try to ask yourself what is going on first, then if you still aren’t sure, then ask for assistance. We all move a little different, so it’s imperative that you learn to listen to your body and recognize when you are not quite in step. 

Sifu Brinker has said regarding the tiger claws in Lao Gar “ I asked myself if I felt the way Master McDonald looked.” This statement requires a lot of self awareness and that statement has stuck with me for a long time. I have asked myself if I look the way I feel, or how I think it should feel and vice versa. 


Just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it looks good.

My intent, or lack there of

An intention is not a goal. An intention is simply a dream if there isn’t any follow through. Without follow through, then nothing can change.

This is me acknowledging my part in my engagement last week. I had every intention on focusing on my training, but I didn’t follow through. Therefore the goals (intentions) I had will never exist in that time. Will they exist in the future? Absolutely, if I make a plan and follow through.

It’s coming...

With another grading coming up, I have been reminiscing about my test in 2008. And while I have graded for my second and third degree since then, nothing compares to my grading for first degree black. It’s a day that you will never forget.

Remember that it’s your journey, and that you will travel your own path. Maybe you need an extra year before you challenge the drawing, and there isn’t anything wrong with that. By following your path, you won’t have any regrets. But don’t sell yourself short. Anyone can become a black belt, you just have to work hard and consistently. I know you’ve got this!

I’ve brought this up in the I Ho Chuan, but feel it’s worth mentioning again what with school starting and the fact that it’s applicable for any goal.

Black Belt Success Cycle.
Have a goal
Have a plan (and a success coach)
TAKE CONSISTENT ACTION!
Review your progress
Review your goal

Instinct

I started writing this blog with a different topic in mind, but it just didn’t seem to flow right. I see this in many classes I have taught, and I see it when I practice Kung Fu. My inner self either recognizes that I need to change what I am doing and follow where it leads, or that it recognizes the class isn’t meshing with he direction I planned on going.

I see how being adaptable is such an important tool. And it isn’t always easy to adapt. Change hampers many of us as it always seems to carry the unknown. Kung Fu has taught me to roll with things, and I do to the best of my ability. Changing direction, or not fighting back against yourself will ultimately benefit you. Trust your instincts.

Crayola Bomb

“Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with their imagination.”

-Robert Fulghum

I love this quote.  It reminds me that no matter what I am experiencing, no matter which crisis I have in front of me, if I step back and focus on something simpler, more creative, I will be in a better mindset.  Kids live in the moment, and find this easier than us adults.  We need to pull out our Crayola’s more often

Intimidation or Inspiration?

Have you ever been in the same class, course, or workplace where you are forced to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses constantly?  And when I say forced, I mean you can’t help but compare yourself to others and wonder why they are better, or are more deserving of the goal you are both working towards?  

Even though I know better, I do this.  I try to catch myself though, and remind myself of how I have different strengths and therefore bring something else valuable to the table.  In Kung Fu, it can be easy to compare yourself to another student.  One minute you are at the same belt level with the same stripes, and then all of a sudden, they have moved ahead of you.  You wonder why, and you start to question if you are any good at anything.  Maybe you are at the same level, both in a grading year and you question if you are even ready - you’re clearly (to you) not even close to the same level, and maybe you should just resign and try again next time.

The key to overcoming this and something I work on all the time, is to remind yourself that you are unique.  You have your own special gifts and strengths that set you apart.  How boring would it be if we were all good at the same things?  When you decide you aren’t good enough, mediocrity sets in and suddenly things you found easy once are more difficult.  

Ups and downs in our training is natural, but it’s what we do with our attitude that matters.  Once we put our ego aside, and focus on what we CAN do, then our attitude will improve.  Our downs in training are less down, and we start to value what we do bring to those around us.  

You are unique.  You are important.  You are amazing.

Appreciation

Yesterday, my dad celebrated his 70th birthday. It seems strange to me that he has entered his 7th decade already because he just doesn’t seem to fit that number. However, it got me thinking about the future. My dads parents both passed away in their 70’s and so has his oldest brother. If we go by genetics alone, I don’t have a lot of time left with my dad. And I can’t imagine that. We lost my mom 8 years ago, and my dad and I have been pretty close ever since. (My kids have too)

I bring this up as I have been thinking about our legacies - what we leave behind and to whom. Who have we left a positive impact on, how has our kindness improved the lives of those we touch? I have so much more to learn, and yet it’s difficult for me to squeeze very much into my brain at a time. I feel almost an urgency to absorb as many lessons as I can, but yet I know that isn't realistic. Not for me anyway. I just have to focus on learning what I can, so that I can pass it along. Let’s keep Kung Fu going for another 2000 years!

Mindfulness and Moderation

When I eat a meal, I think I am mindful about 40% of the time. Actually, breakfast is when I am most mindful of what I eat.

Lately, my trigger or reminder, is the bowl of fruit on our table. I keep thinking about what it takes to get those apples and bananas here to my home for our consumption. My thought process is something like this. Someone had to plant all those apple trees. Then had to nurture them until they were able to produce. Once the apples were ready to pick, many people would have to be employed to pick them (obviously with some sort of machinery). Then they would have to be sorted, packed and loaded onto a truck or boat depending on where they are coming from. Once they arrive in Canada they need to be further sorted for the many distributors across the country. They arrive at the many stores where more people have to unpack and stock the shelves. And then finally, I come in to buy them.

So these apples have been touched by the earth, the sun, the rain and many, many people before they arrive at my table. How fortunate am I to be able to enjoy these apples? When I eat them, I should be aware of everything it took for me to enjoy their sweetness.

And my other thoughts are about how important agriculture is. How many orchards are there in order to supply our demand? What about everything else we eat? It is so easy to take our food for granted, as it’s so simple to obtain. When I am more mindful of what I eat, I am also more mindful of the quality of my food. What sort of fuel am I putting in my body? Don’t get me wrong, I am a sucker for chocolate, and chips and I enjoy the occasional pop. But I’m trying to eat better. Less processed food, and more quality.
More mindfulness.

Is someone sitting on me?

Just when things are looking up, someone sits on you. Or just adds a little bit more to your plate.

We are tested all the time. Our mettle is tested just with life’s curveballs. Tests can be as simple as a change, small or big. It could be added expenses brought on by an unplanned event, or a fallen tree. In Kung Fu, we are tested all of the time. As a student and an instructor. As a student, we are evaluated constantly by our instructors. They need to see where we are, and what we might need to improve. As an instructor, we are tested in our ability to adapt and assist our students. All of it is good, as this is how we grow, how we improve ourselves.

It really, it boils down to how we choose to react. Is this an opportunity? Or is someone just sitting on you?

Pirates...

Sometimes we might worry about what we are blogging, and I am referring to the quality. We want our blogs to be meaningful of course, and we should be documenting our journey. I am definitely guilty of this. I hope that what I write isn’t just fluff, and that there is substance to it. And to be completely honest, I should blog about my journey, my progress and struggles. But that’s my point I guess. I haven’t been training like I should be and so my blogs reflect that.

And as I typed that, I realized yet again, the purpose of this. To recognize where we are, what we are doing (or not doing). And if we aren’t doing, why not?

Sorry, that was a bit of a side note, mostly for myself. This blog has kind of written itself strangely enough. But it’s like with anything, if you just move forward, start typing or training, you will get things accomplished. Blogs will get written, pushups will get done. Simple really.

Time to go do something! Argh, Matey!

(There’s a reason for my pirate reference. LL and TT should get it...maybe...)

Things I have learned from my dog...

Things I have learned from my dog...
...over the last several months.

I have learned that routine is good. I have learned that it’s ok to stop and recharge. I have learned that snuggling is good, and so is lying outside in the sun. I have learned to stop and play, and to live in the moment. I have also learned to stop and take in my surroundings, and that exploring is important to satisfy curiosity.

I have learned that I can apply all of this to my Kung Fu journey. A training routine is good. You need a rest day. You need to try to have some fun with it. You need to be in the moment so that you learn and ask questions.

We need to be grounded, and we need to ask the right questions. We need to be aware of how our bodies move, and if it doesn’t feel right, then why? And we need to stay engaged. How? By keeping a routine, by trying to make your journey “fun”. Throw out a challenge to the school. Throw kicks over your dog, throw them a ball to chase and do as many pushups as you can before they get back. Come up with a project. Or ask questions. Whatever your strategy, make sure it’s pertinent to your journey, and make sure you know what you are after instead of just going through the motions.

Who knew a dog could teach so much?

WooHoo

I’m currently sitting on the couch in our office with 3 of our 4 pets. It’s really nice to be able to sit here with them and just be.

I’m sitting here on the couch thinking about our new normals and how they will continue to evolve everyday. What we’re doing at the school has changed and will continue to do so. Some of us struggle with change, and dealing with unknowns, but change is constant. We need to try to see the positives in change and embrace them as much as we can.

Both of my kids have graduated this spring. One from MacEwan University and one from high school. No celebrations or big event, and fortunately, both of them are happy with this. But we received a surprise today in the mail. MacEwan sent a graduation certificate, lawn sign, banner and grad cap. Grad found us! It was nice to see a concrete ending to university although my oldest is transferring to the UofA in the fall. Endings and beginnings. Constant change. A smile. I got this.

Challenges

It can take courage to face new challenges, and a belief in yourself to follow through. I know that we all saw this firsthand when the kwoon shut down, and we had to rethink the way we approached our training. So here we are now, a week into our phased in re-opening, and I am slowly finding my feet. I’m not feeling as creative as I was 2 weeks ago, as I have different types of classes running at the same time, and it’s challenging to keep the guys at home engaged and having fun at the same time as the guys in front of me.
But it’s a challenge, and one I am grateful to have. It warmed my heart and soul last week to see everyone finally face to face (1 hockey stick apart), and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. My training needs to amp up a bit again, as I know I haven’t been working as hard as I can. It that I also know is doable.
Let’s continue to keep each other safe and healthy

Another new “normal”

In our office at home, we have a calligraphy by Thich Nhat Hanh. It says “I know you are there and I am very happy.”

I love this quote and it has really grounded me during these last 3 months. I am home with my family and I am happy. I have screen access to my students and fellow students of Silent River Kung Fu. And this week I get to see our students in person, and that makes me happy.

It will be different, and another new “normal” will evolve. But I am up for that challenge, because you are there and I am very happy.

Another First!

Yesterday marked Silent River Kung Fu’s first Livestream Tiger Challenge, and it was awesome! We had expected there to be glitches, and disorganization but it flowed quite smoothly. Although that’s in large part to Sifu Yitzik Csillag and his amazing skills! Thank you so much Sifu! I don’t know where we would be without you!

I loved judging the kids, although like every other time, it was difficult because they all try so hard and just warm my heart. It’s hard to pick the best one. And it was really amazing to see everyone else participating in challenging spaces. You guys were all incredible!

As for me, I got through my hand form. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to, because when the Black Belts started, my anxiety shot through the roof. My stomach was in knots and my heart was pounding. What the heck! It felt really out of proportion since this was a) online and b) just for fun. It seems no matter how many times I compete, I always seem to react this way. But I did it! I got through my whole form in one piece. No breakdowns!

It’s always good to push through. I know that if I took the easy way and dropped out, not only would I not be fulfilling my I Ho Chuan promises, I wouldn’t grow from the experience.

Congratulations everyone, for a job well done yesterday! And thank you to all the black belts who made this possible. Both you, our great students, and Sifus, made yesterday amazing!

Here Tiger, Tiger, Tiger...

The Tiger Challenge is this Saturday, and it’s going to be different. I’m looking forward to doing it online this year, even though that adds a challenge. And I think that’s why I am looking forward to it. It’s going to be different, and we are going to learn a lot. Judging takes on a whole new dimension, as does performing. For myself, the competing is creating less anxiety in myself than in the past. Im not really performing in front of people in the same way we would usually. I’m liking this so far...good luck to everyone, and remember to have fun!

Mental Health

Something I have thought about a lot since the pandemic took hold, was that we need to make sure we are taking care of our mental health. It’s important that we take a few minutes everyday to do something for just ourselves. It might be a few minutes to focus on Kung Fu, or a walk outside, or just sitting outside in the sun.

I have tried to apply this to myself as best as I have been able to, and this morning I got to thinking about a strategy that I have employed for many, many years. While thinking about it today, I made the connection that this is something that being in the I Ho Chuan taught me unbeknownst to me. I’d like to share this with you.

It requires you to break down things into small bite size pieces. 50,000 pushups is a daunting task until you break it down into daily requirements, and then it’s even easier once you look at how many sets of 25 you have to do in a day. Suddenly it’s that much easier to accomplish. I’ll use my process from when I worked for the government, as I think it’ll illustrate my point the best.

I would wake up with my alarm and not feel I had the mental strength to face the day. But, my kids still had to go to school. So I would get up, and while I was getting the kids out the door, I would tell myself to just get dressed at least. I can let myself go back to bed once the kids are out the door. Then once they were out the door, I would challenge myself to at least go to work since I was already dressed. I could change my mind when I got there. Once I would get there, I would again challenge myself to just get through a couple of hours. Then my next goal was lunch, then by the time that passed staying was easier, and got easier as finishing the day approached.

The strategy is simply setting small goals, and as we know, small things do add up to big things. And I think we need to apply this mindset more now than ever. When things seem overwhelming, just stop and break things down into bite size pieces.

Air Hugs!

Listening

How often do you listen with your whole self? Listening with your body - you’re still, not fidgety. Listening without judgement - are you making faces during the conversation? Are you getting your back arched? Feathers ruffled? Listening with your eyes as well as your ears - are you noticing the body language used? Listening while trying to hurry the conversation along? Are you finishing sentences for the other person?
I know that I have done all of these. My worst ones though are finishing others’ sentences and making premature judgements. This is something I have been working on for a long time. And I think that for the most part I do ok, but if I am not mindful of listening, if I am not aware of where my mental state is, I too easily fall into my old habits. Therefore not a very good listener.
I bring this up as it’s something I think we all have to work on, one way or another. We are spending more time with our families and I think it’s easy to let true listening slide. And with Kung Fu, if we aren’t really present in our listening we just might miss a gem, some key piece of information that could possibly transform us. You just never know.

Looking forward

It’s best to look forward, not behind you. Your journey is in front of you, and while you may stand still sometimes, or maybe even take a step back, keep your eyes in forward. Learn from what’s behind you, and apply that to the path in front. Look to each side, and see who is there with you. Your mentors, your peers, your loved ones. Without them, the path forward is a difficult journey. They are there to support you, encourage you, teach you. They are there to help pick you up when you fall, to run alongside you, and remind you of why you are here. Your blood, sweat and tears are not for nothing. This is what makes it all worth it. Knowing that you have gone all in, and earned everything. There is more value in something that you, yourself have worked hard for. Look beside you again, and see who you can help. We are all together, and we may sometimes have to ask for help, for a gentle nudge, or to help pick you up. We all have something to give.

Routine

I think the hardest part of being at home all the time, is not having the same routine. Although, our dog does help with that - he has a schedule and likes very much that we stick to it. He has been getting me out of bed earlier to feed him, and that’s a good thing. But the challenge is where to fit in our Kung Fu when we used to go to the Kwoon for classes. This is where I need to sit and build a routine. I am getting my kilometres in (thanks Bark Lee!) but that’s the most consistent thing I have. But...there are many times throughout the day, that I can take 5 minutes and can some reps in. The key, I think is just to try to stay mindful of where I am and what I am doing.

You are important

“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you at never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” - Fred Rogers -

I was thinking about the one on ones that I have had with students, and this quote stuck with me. Teaching a class online with a group works, but there a sense of intimacy that is lost. These one on ones give me as an instructor, the opportunity to connect on a individual basis. I have really missed that. But we are lucky, that we have the technology and the privilege to be able to continue on. To work from home, to learn from home.

As a student, I am struggling a bit. My focus is mostly on teaching right now, and so my numbers are suffering. So what do I do? I recognize this, then make a plan to move forward and get things done

Smile

Today, just before I met with my one on one meetings outside on the deck, I took a moment. And in that moment, I didn’t think. I just closed my eyes, and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. I always feel the most at peace when I take those moments. Just a deep breath, and the warm light on me.

I find that while I am getting used to the isolating, I still feel stress, and often feel overwhelmed. But it’s these moments that re-ground me and allow me to carry on. I am grateful for this.

I am grateful that we can all still train together while still far apart. I am grateful that we are on this journey together. And I have hope that we will pull through together.

I’m Waving!

Yes I am. From back here. Yes, you’re going to have to turn around to see me as I’m straggling a little.

I’m a little behind in my requirements, some more than others. But I am still moving forward, not quitting. My training is more cerebral right now, with keeping the classes on line in the forefront. I struggle some days, but not every day and that’s a blessing. I have lots to keep me engaged, which does help in propelling me forward.

Thank you team, for being so awesome, and for waving back!

2 Weeks

It’s been 2 weeks since we closed the doors at the Kwoon. 2 weeks since we have seen each other in person, face to face. 2 weeks into a new “normal”. So how are we doing? I think some of us are fairing better than others, but isn’t that to be expected? This isolation doesn’t bother me too much, as I am an introvert, and I don’t have much desire to get out without a pandemic to stop me.

Anyway, I have had the opportunity to connect with my students, and that means a lot. While streaming services have been cut back, and our video quality isn’t the same as last week, it still gives us a window of opportunity. I have had the chance for a couple of one on one sessions, and they were cool. I hope the students got as much out of them as I did.

On another note, I have encountered an area of my training that has been a struggle from day 1. And it boils down to intent. Not enough Grrr in my Kung Fu. Too much Tai Chi in my Kung Fu. A lack of intensity I guess. So, I have to shift my focus to this and continue on that path...Let’s see where I am in another 2 weeks.

Godzilla Rises

Mr. Whitehouse-Strong mentioned something in his blog today and I agree with his comments on videotaping yourself. I have always shied away from that because I hate looking at myself on video. However, having to do it so I could post my beta version on the I Ho Chuan group was eye opening.
First, I noticed that I move way slower than I feel I am. And I realize why - I have been practicing this way for too long. And probably my Tai Chi practice doesn’t help either. So that’s problem #1.
Problem #2 is that my timing is off on a few techniques. Sigh.
So to fix problem #1, I need to explore a few options. Put more snap in the end off all my techniques. And train with more speed and power. This is going to take some time, but that’s ok. And to address problem #2, I just need to focus on the timing; and to do that I need to watch the video some more.

Did you all see Godzilla rise in my butterfly knife form? Grrrrrrrr.

Compassion

With the current situation out in the world, it’s so easy to get caught up in the fray. There is panic, hoarding, avoidance, anger, frustration, fear, and heightened anxiety to name a few. Sifu Brinker posted on our schools social network about being calm and compassionate and of course careful. Wash your hands often, clean/ disinfect more frequently, and set an example of leadership by taking care of our most vulnerable.
I would like to share with you a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh. “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvellously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”
This quote speaks to me, and reminds me to be mindful during this pandemic. I would like to encourage you to breathe deeply into your lowest abdomen. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Remind yourself of what you have today. Think about what you can do for someone else. We are in this together, and I truly believe that that is how we will get through this. Buy what you need for right now. Save some for others who also need it. Offer your services if you can. Pray, meditate, feed your spirit. Share the compassion I know you have to give.

Gratitude

One of my requirements this year was to keep a gratitude journal. I picked a simple one, that has 5 specific boxes to fill in with a daily quote. I find this journal to be nice and simple for me. I don’t have to sit there and wait for words to come, as I have a small prompt in front of me.
This was a great requirement for myself. I have been able to look at previous entries, and am reminded of the things I am grateful for. Sometimes it is hard to see light, but this helps a lot. Some things I am grateful for - my dog, for waking me up in the morning by licking my arm, for my warm bed to snuggle up in. I am grateful for my husband who supports me and encourages me. I am grateful for our kids, for giving me a reason to get up in the morning. I am grateful for Kung Fu, for being able to train and to share my knowledge, and to learn every single day.
Some days I focus on the little things that get missed in the big picture, and sometimes I focus on the big picture. Regardless of what I write that I am grateful for that day, it serves a moment to be mindful and it grounds me.

No Journey is ever Straight

I have been trying to write this for an hour now. It’s almost as if I have too much to say, but no words to get my thoughts out. I very briefly considered putting this attempt to rest and trying it again tomorrow, but I know it’s a slippery slope.
Well, I had to come back to this a day later as I found myself with a case of canine paralysis (the dog crawled onto my lap, preventing me from further typing.).
I have been thinking a lot lately about how our lives never quite go the way we plan. We get sick or injured, or a family member does, or perhaps it’s the simple act of aging. We may lose a job, or start a family. Regardless, things rarely go exactly to plan. Which is why we need to develop the ability to adapt. Kung Fu teaches us this through forms, techniques, and through all of the tools we are given. The only caveat is we must be consistent in our training.
I could say that I didn’t complete 1000 pushups on Saturday because I spent 3 hours in the car to and from Camrose, and a couple of hours visiting there. But that’s just a poor excuse. I didn’t complete them because it wasn’t a priority, plain and simple. I recognize this and I see that I failed to adapt to my circumstances. I had lots of time at the school Saturday but only managed to get in 200 pushups.
There is a lesson here for me. I need to follow through on my promises and I need to focus more on adapting to the situation.
Here’s to the next challenge!

Arbitrary Limitations

It can be hard not to compare myself to my younger self, or worse yet, to other students around me. Neither of these is healthy. I have some permanent injuries which place some limitations upon myself, and I am also not the same as those around me. I have my own journey, my own path. I have to admit that sometimes this holds me back. My heart and mind want to perform/ learn in a certain way and my body doesn’t allow it. It can be very frustrating and damaging mentally when I think I should be at a certain place in my training and I am not yet there. And perhaps I will never be there. I do recognize this though, and while there are difficult days, in the end, I know deep down that I am me. There is no one else like me. Just like there is no one else like you.
I am fortunate to train alongside of all of you. You inspire me, encourage me and support me perhaps without even knowing this. Thank you. When you are there training, and sharing camaraderie, I feel centred.
To Quote Thich Nhat Hanh “You are therefore I am”. (This quote is actually hung in our office so I see it every time I sit at the desk to work).

Sometimes...

Sometimes you have take a step back from something in order to step forward again.
Sometimes you have to stop and breathe mindfully.
Sometimes you have take stock of what you have, not what you don’t have.
Sometimes you have to stop looking elsewhere and look right in front of of you.
And sometimes you have to just do what has to be done, in order to get where you’re going.

Inspiration

Sometimes, when it’s least expected we get hit with an idea, and then talking about it expands that idea. I have a project that I have been toying with for a while for Earth Day, and today it has taken on some life. I will share more details shortly, and will also require some assistance with it. So sit tight as I am fleshing out the details as I need to get moving to make this a reality.

*Disclaimer*. Every day is Earth Day, not just April 22.


“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” “The Lorax”

Responsibility

Responsibility. I was thinking about this today, and the many forms and benefits of it. For the I Ho Chuan, it means that I am responsible for my decisions and actions. If I choose to forgo my requirements for a day, I am responsible for the consequences. I am also responsible to the team. I have made commitments to them, and I am responsible for following them through. I am expected to be ready with a beta version of my forms by the time set by Sifu Brinker. I am expected to be ready for demos when called upon. I am expected to journal at least once a week. I alone am responsible to see these through. I am also responsible to seek help if I need it, and to assist my fellow teammates if and when required.

I am responsible for my actions and decisions when I am not in the Kwoon, and to present my best self to the world. I can’t behave like a total jerk at home or in public and then expect to be treated with respect at the Kwoon. I am responsible in earning said respect. I am not responsible for someone else’s actions but I am responsible for how I react to them.

I am fortunate to have this responsibility as it makes me a better person everyday. But only if I keep all of this in front of me.

Happy New Year!

Every day is a day to begin anew.

I had a conversation with one of my kids the other day (week?) about resolutions. At the start of January each year, there is a lot of talk about New Years resolutions. And we all know, that for most people, their resolutions are just dreams by March as they fell off the wagon so to speak, and they just continue on and plan for next year.

I have learned over the years, in particular through the I Ho Chuan (but also through Thich Nhat Hanh), that every day is a chance to start over. Or if you get right down to it, every moment is a new opportunity. It’s never too soon to pick yourself up and start moving forward. Baby steps perhaps, but always forward.

There will always be days that are difficult to get things accomplished. But if we recognize this, give ourselves a break, and start over we are on the track to succeed.

Black Belt Success Cycle

Time is something you can never get back. Moments are just that, moments. If we are not stopping every so often, we miss things that we can never get back.

Having a dream is different than having a goal. But a goal is a dream if a success cycle isn’t implemented.

Step 1 - have a goal. Something that you want to achieve.
Step 2 - have a plan (and a success coach). Without this, step 1 remains a dream. A plan is also more than I will just do this and that. It requires defined steps, and perhaps some guidance from someone who has already taken that path. Say you want to be confident in a specific form. Your goal might be, to achieve this in 1 month. That’s nice, but how? It might start better as I will do this form 3 times every day. But life has a way of interfering so this probably isn’t enough. It might be best done by setting the alarm clock 15 minutes early so there aren’t any distractions and then it’s also done for the day and not getting pushed farther and farther away.
Step 3 - take CONSISTENT ACTION. This is the biggest key. If you only do 3 sets every few days at best, you aren’t going to see your goal. You must push yourself to follow your plan every day. No exceptions.
Step 4 - review your progress. If your plan maybe wasn’t super precise, you may wish to review it half way to your goal. You might not be where you think are if you haven’t taken consistent action. Or maybe 3 times a day isn’t enough to see any progress.
Step 5 - review your goal. Maybe you got confident way sooner than you thought, or you still aren’t even after the month of training. This tells you that either, the goal wasn’t challenging enough, or maybe it was too much in a short amount of time.

Dreams are just dreams unless you turn them into a goal. Time is fleeting, as are moments unless you try to hold onto them. Things change, moments disappear, and people leave.

Gratitude

One of my requirements this year is to keep a daily gratitude journal. On one hand, it intimidates me to do this every day. But at the same time, I can see how it can and will benefit me.
It can be easy to get overwhelmed in our current society. We are bombarded with social media, and we seem to be busier than ever in our quest for more.
I think this will be a great tool, to break down my day, every day to the very basics that I know I take for granted. I am sure that when I feel overwhelmed, I can simply open up my journal and re-centre myself with my previous posts.
I can start this today with a couple of things. I am grateful for being able to sit by a fire and snuggle with our dog, while my husband sits close by. I am grateful that he cut wood and built the fire. I am grateful as I write this that I am able to participate in the I Ho Chuan this year. I could keep going, but that is for the journal...

Onwards

Sometimes the hardest thing is starting. I had a great blog in my head this morning as I lay in bed, but by the time it came to write it down, it was long gone. Oops.

This past year has had many ups and downs, and I am looking forward to starting the I Ho Chuan again this year after taking a year off. It sure went fast. I took last year off so that I could focus more on taking care of my back and trying to strengthen it and while I have noticed a small difference it hasn’t really changed much. Oh well, it is what it is.

I have my requirements in place and am now working on my tracking sheets. I have a notebook that will be with me all the time to track, so hopefully I won’t forget to log my numbers.

Here’s to the year of the Rat