Adjustments

 have made a couple of minor adjustments to a few techniques and they feel so much better.  I feel more grounded, more connected to my chi.  By taking a moment sooner to push, I therefore make my alignment a moment quicker and therefore my energy releases with more expansion.  

These adjustments though come through awareness and a lot of practice.  I spend a lot of time with just a few pieces of my forms and these little sparks form, and create opportunities to feel more in my Tai Chi.  That’s not to say that I am amazing or anywhere close to being a master yet, but these little sparks are exciting.  I am feeling more grounded.

But on a more humbling note, I need to go through my Kung Fu forms more.  I blanked when we did Da Mu Hsing the other day and it took a little bit to find my way through.  And it felt a little foreign to be honest.  So that tells me that I have neglected things for too long.  Shame on me.  Time to squeeze some Kung Fu forms in alongside my Tai Chi.  

Bits and Bobs

 I’m finding it difficult to track specifically the bits and pieces of Tai Chi that I am practicing.  I practice the whole sections, or the whole short form but there are many moments where I choose a technique or two and practice those.  I am tracking my reps of Tai Chi, but I have yet to decide how to track the bits and bobs that I practice.  There’s a little bit each day, even if there isn’t a full section or short form involved.  I guess, if I just focus on what I have chosen to track and go with that then I am making progress.  As long as I am tracking things. 

I have made a couple of adjustments to a couple of techniques and they feel so much better.  It’s amazing how just a small tweak can make a big difference in energy transference.  How changing my intent on a technique can change the trajectory of it.  It’s exciting and I am loving where this is going.  And now that it’s warm outside, I am looking forward to going outside to practice.

Numbers Year to Date:

Modified Push Ups - 4510

Regular Push Ups - 50

Tai Chi Part 2 - 4

Tai Chi Part 3 - 2

Tai Chi Part 4 - 1

Tai Chi Short Form - 10

Tai Chi Push Hands - 1

Energy Release

Sometimes I question myself as to when my energy should be released when I finish a technique in Tai Chi.  And it’s because I am not feeling it.  Am I not feeling it because I am not fully grounded or am I not feeling it because I have not made that tiny adjustment that needs to be made?

A second set of eyes is always helpful when you are in doubt.  For the most part, I can figure it out when something feels off or just not quite right.  And it’s usually because I am either rushing or am not quite grounded anymore.  

So lately, instead of going through either the individual parts of the forms, like part 2 or part 1, or the whole of the short form, I have found myself focusing on a few very individual parts that I have noticed aren’t quite right for me.  I had the blessing of meeting with Sifu Dennis on Friday and she was able to make a tiny adjustment that made the difference for me.  I am grateful for that as I am unable to attend classes right now.  There are still some pieces that I am working on and I am looking forward to feeling the release of energy once I have them figured out for myself.

Numbers YTD

Modified Push Ups 3735

Tai Chi Part 2 4

Tai Chi Short Form 9

Tai Chi Part 4 1

Tai Chi Push Hands 1

Healing

This may sound strange, but Tai Chi is healing for me.  It soothes my soul, it nourishes my psyche, it points out parts of my body that need attention.  I notice old injuries and new ones and it allows me to make adjustments and to focus on those parts while I move.  I can focus my energy on my physical body and feel it heal.  

Tai Chi calms me.  It uplifts me.  It brings me back to myself.  

An issue arises however when I forget to bring my awareness to my techniques and am only focusing on how I am feeling.  Bad habits creep in and when you have done something for a long time wrong it feels right.  But upon close inspection it actually doesn’t feel right, I have just fooled myself into thinking it was feeling right.  So to address that I need someone else to witness my forms, to see where my chi is or is not being released.  Then I can work on those areas.

A small tweak in my technique is often all it takes to take it to the next level and to feel things move correctly again.  I am fortunate to have some amazing mentors to witness my journey and to help me notice when I am missing something.  I do need to work more on noticing these things in myself however.  I am striving to be less dependent on them so that I may grow more.  

Questions are good.  I should be asking them.  I should ask myself and I should try to answer myself before I check in with my mentors.  I know more than I think I know.  

Numbers

Modified Push Ups - 1480

Tai Chi Short Form - 6

Tai Chi Part 2 - 1

Tai Chi Push Hands - 1

Not Something New

I have toyed with the idea of expanding my Tai Chi horizon, but then I look at what I do know, and how much there still is to learn within those forms and there is no point in really going forward with something new. There are minute tweaks that make a huge difference to my technique and to how I feel my chi.

I practice sometimes and notice that I am moving a foot to adjust to a transition that I haven’t noticed in the past.  That alone opens up questions about other transitions and how my chi flows from one stance to another.

I have been training in Kung Fu for 23 years and Tai Chi for 17 years.  I feel I know a lot, but there is still so much more that I hope to learn in the future.  However, training without mindfulness will not allow me to learn or address any issues that I may have.  Bad habits creep in unknowingly when injuries happen, or even when space constraints force adjustments.  Those need to be noticed and addressed.

I do feel at home with Tai Chi.  I have been blessed to learn under a Master who has infinite patience and knowledge to impart.  While I cannot be at the school right now to practice with my peers, I am keeping up with the form at home.  I stay at their pace, I practice the short form and the Tai Chi Broadsword.  

I have learned a lot, and there is so much more.  

Rooting

 

The term Shenling refers to your body having strong roots but being agile so as to move quickly if needed. (“the Taijiquan Classics” by Zhang Yun, David Ho, Peter Capellini and Susan Darley)

This is something that I work on a lot when I practice Tai Chi and I didn’t realize that there was a term for it. I don’t need one to understand the concept though, as my Kung Fu training has been influencing this rooting for a long time. Connecting with the earth, to stabilize your skeleton, and use the earth’s Chi with my own for power and strength.

It seems like a simple thing, but I have to remind myself that I have been practicing Kung Fu for 19 years and Tai Chi for 13 years. I know that it wasn’t that easy to connect and root myself to the earth and remain agile at first and that it took a long time for me to achieve that.

It’s like how easy it is for me now to just feel my Chi, without having to work at it, or concentrate. It just happens. However that also took a long time to feel at will. I tend to forget where I started, and so I have to remind myself every so often that my journey has been a long one, relatively speaking.

Achieving shenling takes time, but it starts with a toyu stance. Simply having your skeleton aligned, pelvis tucked in, knees slightly bent with an invisible string running up your spine and past your head. It’s feeling the earth beneath your feet, rooted and strong and at the same time feeling light and able to move quickly. It seems like a simple stance, and easy to attain, however it’s more about becoming one with the earth and feeling that connection. This will take time and practice.

I am by no means perfect, which is why Kung Fu and Tai Chi are a practice and why mastery is a journey.

Highs and Lows

 

We all experience highs and lows in our day to day lives. It occurs with our mental state and our physical state. So how do we handle the lows when everything seems impossible? When getting out of bed is a feat in and of itself? Let alone complete everything that needs to be done in a day?

We have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and not hold ourselves to our normal standards as that can just exasperate our mental state. Self care if important, so how we treat ourselves has to be a priority. We need to be gentle, and allow ourselves to be less than, as long as we are still trying. It helps to remember that we are not alone, that this will pass, and you will come out the other side.

But the key is to just take a step forward even it’s a baby step. Reach out so that you are not struggling alone. There are more people that care about you than you realize.