Healing

This may sound strange, but Tai Chi is healing for me.  It soothes my soul, it nourishes my psyche, it points out parts of my body that need attention.  I notice old injuries and new ones and it allows me to make adjustments and to focus on those parts while I move.  I can focus my energy on my physical body and feel it heal.  

Tai Chi calms me.  It uplifts me.  It brings me back to myself.  

An issue arises however when I forget to bring my awareness to my techniques and am only focusing on how I am feeling.  Bad habits creep in and when you have done something for a long time wrong it feels right.  But upon close inspection it actually doesn’t feel right, I have just fooled myself into thinking it was feeling right.  So to address that I need someone else to witness my forms, to see where my chi is or is not being released.  Then I can work on those areas.

A small tweak in my technique is often all it takes to take it to the next level and to feel things move correctly again.  I am fortunate to have some amazing mentors to witness my journey and to help me notice when I am missing something.  I do need to work more on noticing these things in myself however.  I am striving to be less dependent on them so that I may grow more.  

Questions are good.  I should be asking them.  I should ask myself and I should try to answer myself before I check in with my mentors.  I know more than I think I know.  

Numbers

Modified Push Ups - 1480

Tai Chi Short Form - 6

Tai Chi Part 2 - 1

Tai Chi Push Hands - 1

Not Something New

I have toyed with the idea of expanding my Tai Chi horizon, but then I look at what I do know, and how much there still is to learn within those forms and there is no point in really going forward with something new. There are minute tweaks that make a huge difference to my technique and to how I feel my chi.

I practice sometimes and notice that I am moving a foot to adjust to a transition that I haven’t noticed in the past.  That alone opens up questions about other transitions and how my chi flows from one stance to another.

I have been training in Kung Fu for 23 years and Tai Chi for 17 years.  I feel I know a lot, but there is still so much more that I hope to learn in the future.  However, training without mindfulness will not allow me to learn or address any issues that I may have.  Bad habits creep in unknowingly when injuries happen, or even when space constraints force adjustments.  Those need to be noticed and addressed.

I do feel at home with Tai Chi.  I have been blessed to learn under a Master who has infinite patience and knowledge to impart.  While I cannot be at the school right now to practice with my peers, I am keeping up with the form at home.  I stay at their pace, I practice the short form and the Tai Chi Broadsword.  

I have learned a lot, and there is so much more.  

Rooting

 

The term Shenling refers to your body having strong roots but being agile so as to move quickly if needed. (“the Taijiquan Classics” by Zhang Yun, David Ho, Peter Capellini and Susan Darley)

This is something that I work on a lot when I practice Tai Chi and I didn’t realize that there was a term for it. I don’t need one to understand the concept though, as my Kung Fu training has been influencing this rooting for a long time. Connecting with the earth, to stabilize your skeleton, and use the earth’s Chi with my own for power and strength.

It seems like a simple thing, but I have to remind myself that I have been practicing Kung Fu for 19 years and Tai Chi for 13 years. I know that it wasn’t that easy to connect and root myself to the earth and remain agile at first and that it took a long time for me to achieve that.

It’s like how easy it is for me now to just feel my Chi, without having to work at it, or concentrate. It just happens. However that also took a long time to feel at will. I tend to forget where I started, and so I have to remind myself every so often that my journey has been a long one, relatively speaking.

Achieving shenling takes time, but it starts with a toyu stance. Simply having your skeleton aligned, pelvis tucked in, knees slightly bent with an invisible string running up your spine and past your head. It’s feeling the earth beneath your feet, rooted and strong and at the same time feeling light and able to move quickly. It seems like a simple stance, and easy to attain, however it’s more about becoming one with the earth and feeling that connection. This will take time and practice.

I am by no means perfect, which is why Kung Fu and Tai Chi are a practice and why mastery is a journey.

Highs and Lows

 

We all experience highs and lows in our day to day lives. It occurs with our mental state and our physical state. So how do we handle the lows when everything seems impossible? When getting out of bed is a feat in and of itself? Let alone complete everything that needs to be done in a day?

We have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and not hold ourselves to our normal standards as that can just exasperate our mental state. Self care if important, so how we treat ourselves has to be a priority. We need to be gentle, and allow ourselves to be less than, as long as we are still trying. It helps to remember that we are not alone, that this will pass, and you will come out the other side.

But the key is to just take a step forward even it’s a baby step. Reach out so that you are not struggling alone. There are more people that care about you than you realize.

A Calm Mental State

 

Xinjing- A Chinese term for heart calm. The heart referring to our mental state and keeping it calm or still.

One of the most important aspects of Tai Chi is to have a calm mental state. A calm mental state is focused, and will help to keep you in the void. This can be considered an abstract concept, but your mental state can be trained.

So how do you train your mind to stay calm? It isn’t easy in a world where we are surrounded by noise. Phones, computers, emails, social media, television, deadlines, and endless pressures keep us from truly breathing and able to be calm. However, by practicing Tai Chi over and over, we will eventually be able to turn off the noise and find ourselves in the void. (I should state that this also applies to Kung Fu.)

We need to practice without any preconceived ideas as to what our opponent might be doing; to be able to keep our minds still in order to simply follow or intercept our opponent. Our bodies need to just react.

Collecting Moments

 

I read the phrase “collect the happy moments” today and it struck a chord with me. Each day is filled with moments, and I know we miss most of them. Usually it’s the powerful moments that catch us, cause us to reflect and remember and they’re the ones that usually illicit strong emotions. However, if we can find just a few minutes each day to practice gratitude we will find so many more moments throughout the day that define us that we would normally miss.

It might be a small moment that made you smile, one that made you laugh or cry, ones that brought you some calmness, and of course ones that maybe rubbed you the wrong way. I think it’s all the little moments that we miss that actually hold us back from being in the here and now. And all it takes is a pause, a breath, a brief check into ourselves to find the small moments that make us who we are.

I really like the idea of “collecting the happy moments” but we can’t have the happy ones without the sad or angry ones. Yin doesn’t exist without yang, light doesn’t exist without the dark. However, it’s easy to migrate to the negative - it surrounds us constantly in the news and social media. But if we can focus on the little happy moments that happen all the time, then we have a whole arsenal of tools to help us cope with the negative moments.

The Evolving Journey

 

Evolution is a natural part of the Kung Fu journey. Over time, our techniques change a little as our bodies age and we adapt to injuries or other limitations. It doesn’t make us less of a martial artist though. As long as we are moving forward and keeping an open mind, we will continue to grow and improve.

The same can be said for techniques or forms. Over time we find better ways of doing them, or adapting them. And change can be hard when we have been doing something the same way for a long time. However, the exciting part of Kung Fu are these adaptations or changes. I love how I have to look at it from a new perspective and make it work for me.

But I see frustration in students sometimes when we change things and they wonder why we do to this to them. They feel they are just starting to understand something and then we pull the rug out from under them and point them in another direction. We do this because the discover better ways of doing things. The key is to take a deep breath, and remove our ego so that we can see how this new direction can improve us.