On Being an Artist

I was thinking about art, and what defines a person as an artist. I have always loved to paint, and create things, however I lack in the patience. I want it done now, and have a difficult time returning to a project to see it through to the end. I have learned that I do better painting walls, than pictures, and I would rather stamp over scrap booking. I like instant results. However, I have patience in a couple of other artistic things, that I tend to actually take for granted.

I have patience in my writing, but this is probably due more to actually being able to wait, and let my thoughts formulate before I try to put them into words. I also have patience in my Kung Fu. Kung Fu is an art, and somehow without realizing it, I have learned patience there. I do get frustrated with it, don’t get me wrong, but it isn’t too difficult for me to continue to work on something and watch it get better and better. Kung Fu continues to evolve, and I think because of it, I have learned patience.

I hope that my children will also learn patience from it. They are always talking about when they get their next stripe, and have learned that they have to work hard, stay dedicated, and to be patient. This is a virtue that so many don’t have anymore in our world today.

If we were more patient, then we would have more tolerance in my opinion. Look within the Kwoon, and tell me that alongside the patience, there is much tolerance. We all come from different backrounds, have different beliefs and values, but ultimately we work peacefully together. The peace we cultivate within our Kwoon, is carried with us into the world. We apply it in our day to day interactions. We don’t pick fights, we try to understand others, we are patient and tolerant of the differences that make our world.

I had a difficult day yesterday in regards to being an artist. I lost focus on what I am truly good at, and could only see what I am not good at. It is a very dangerous road to go down, because getting lost in that darkness is quite scary and the fight to come back is a challenging one. I have to fight to keep my strengths in front of me. I have to accept who I am, that I can always strive to be more, but in order to do so I have to like what I see now. I forget that writing helps keep me centered, and that there are many people who have a difficult time putting their thoughts into words. I forget that I am pretty good at Kung Fu, and that it comes relatively easily for me. There are many that have to work very hard for where they are.

I also have to take the patience that I have learned from Kung Fu, and apply it to my daily life. I have to be patient with my moods, because ultimately, I know that they will improve. The fight to get out from under this dark veil is a hard one, and I always seem to escape it. I just have to be patient, and somehow learn to accept myself and the artistic abilities that I have. I have to accept that I can’t be really good at everything, and that I am judged by who I am, and not what I material things I create.