Indifference

What do you see when you look in the mirror? You see the physical being in which you reside, and that is the first thing you see when you meet a person for the first time. You are able to see whatever physical differences there are, as well as any physical challenges they might have. This is much easier for society to accept, as it is something easily verified.

Mental illness is something that is taboo. It is somewhat recognized, but the help is not as readily available as it should be. Because it isn’t something physically tangible, we tend to push it under the rug and pretend it isn’t there.

I feel guilt over an incident over the holidays. I like to believe that I accept mental illness as it is, which is an imbalance within. I have suffered from depression, post partem depression, and severe PMS and many other small issues. However, do to my lack of action, I ended up doing what most of society does. I was indifferent, and turned my back. I was in a fast food restaurant for lunch, and as I was getting ready to leave, I noticed the two gentlemen sitting behind me. They weren’t necessarily homeless and may not have been down and out, but that is not the point. They were literally counting their change, down to pennies, in order to buy lunch. I wasn’t sure how to react to this. I considered going to the counter and leaving money with the cashier to buy these two men lunch, but wasn’t sure how that would be met. And I wasn’t comfortable just giving them money either, and I am sure they wouldn’t have appreciated it. So I left. And it haunts me to this day. I acted with complete indifference and there is nothing I can do about it.

Society treats mental illness with complete indifference, as if it will just go away if we don’t acknowledge it. It is not something that you get if you are not loved enough, it isn’t something you “catch” by using a public washroom. It is as real as it gets. Take your homeless person. We have no idea what drove them there, or what keeps them there. It is easy to believe that it was drugs or alcohol, or just a poor upbringing. But perhaps this person, has a mental illness. Had a job that just barely paid the bills. Their disorder becomes such that they require medication, but cannot afford it. So they lose everything and end up on the streets. It becomes a vicious cycle. They cannot “just get a job” because they need help. They cannot get help because they don’t have the resources to do so. So we shut down places like tent city, and force them to stand in long lines so they can have one bowl of soup that is all they will have in a day. They rely on the things that we take for granted.

And because of the stigma, our own families can easily ignore mental illness, or a disorder until it becomes severe, and even then you cannot depend on the support. I could be a little biased, and perhaps it also has to do with our individual upbringing. Of course our culture has a huge impact, but it needs to begin within the family body.

Let me elaborate. Take a grandma, who was hospitalized several times because of mental breakdowns. The family simply writes it off as she had 8 kids, money was tight, so she had a lot of stress. You can’t tell me it was as simple as that. Or that it wouldn’t have an impact on the generations to come. I have grown up surrounded by the attitude that you are just being silly. I have this thing with my cupboards. I have to have my cups/ plates/ bowls etc. in a certain order, and they need to be used in a certain order. It drives me nuts when that is not followed. I try to let it go, as my youngest daughter is very particular with how things are as well. She went into the cupboard the other day, and arranged the cups according to colour. I do it as well, but I also do it by style. I had to change it when she went to bed, because I couldn’t let it stay that way. I made the mistake of mentioning it to my parents because I felt guilty that I was like that. They told me to let it go, they were kids and it just didn’t really matter. I come over to my parents and rearrange their cupboards all the time, but they just shake their heads and make it clear that they don’t see what the big deal is. It is a big deal to me. I need some things to be just so. So they are indifferent to my needs. Eating and my PMS has always been something of an issue for me as well. But I know that if I mentioned my struggles, they would just pass it off as my being an idiot. Fortunately for me, I have an amazing man in my life who tries to understand so I don’t feel alone.

But if that is within my family where there is a lot of love, what about all the other people out there that become forgotten? Ones who are also surrounded by the indifference that end of committing suicide because their very real issues were never accepted. As a society, we need to acknowledge mental illness as something very real. It has physical aspects too if we simply open our eyes and look. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it is an illness. You wouldn’t get blamed for getting the flu would you? We need to take a stand. We need to make a difference.

In the Kwoon, we accept each other without question. I am sure there are illnesses of all natures, and no one is judged because of them. Silent River Kung Fu is absolutely the safest place to be. I also feel that that is the best place to begin to make a difference. I am sure that if we accept mental illness there, it is only a small step to take that out into the world. So, are we going to choose to be indifferent, or are we going to strive to make a difference? Acceptance is key.

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