Kung Fu by any other name?

Tell me what is in a name? Does it define who we are, or is it just a simple tool to give a person some individuality?

Two people called Joe, would most likely have two very different personalities, and are therefore unique. Two Martial Artists beside each other are different because of their approaches to training, whether it’s the same style or not.

I have been debating for some time about changing my name back to my maiden name. And the only dilemma I have, is whether or not to make this change at Kung Fu. The change has been fairly seamless at work, and I am in the process of changing my name back in all of my accounts and correspondence. It will take a little time, but it is what I need to do for me.

After many years of being Wilson, I have chosen to regain my birth name of Vantuil. I am Dutch. I am one of five in Canada. But my name doesn’t define me, or does it? Does it amplify who I am? Does it give me that final touch of individuality? I chose to take back my name because I need the closure. My divorce was finalized this past summer, and with the problems I am having with my ex, I am ready to put it all behind me. My girls will have his name, and that’s okay - they’re his too. But I am me.

I believe in the sanction of marriage, and if married again, I would take my future husband’s name. I would not be losing my identity as it will always be my legal name, but I would become one of two. Not one of one. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I need to be me at this point.

I kept my married name after I left him because I thought it would be easier for the girls. But I don’t think it really makes that big of a difference to them. I will always be their mom, no matter my name. I will always love them, no matter my name. I would die for them, no matter my name.

So I made my decision to take the name Vantuil back, and I am at peace with it. But I am torn with what to do at the Kwoon. Do I stay Sihing Wilson, because that is who I have been there for the last 5 years? Am I ready to constantly remind people of my different name? What kind of confusion will it cause amongst the students, in particular the youngest ones? My Lil Leopards for example? The Tiny Tigers and Black Dragons, who know not only as Ms. Wilson and Ms. Wilson’s mom, but as Sihing Wilson - mom and instructor?

For now, until I have things more settled, and to give myself more time to think on it, I will stay Sihing Wilson...

Until further notice...

Sihing Tania Wilson