The artist(s?) in our home...

We express ourselves in multiple ways. Through our speech, our gestures, our facial expressions, our body language, our attire, our pastimes. I am sure I am missing some, but you get my point. Sometimes we express ourselves on purpose, and sometimes without even realizing it.

I have recently discovered an artist, of whom I love her work. Her name is Yayoi Kusama and she is an 89 year old Japanese artist obsessed with dots and pumpkins. I would give my left leg to see her work in person. Ok, that’s a little extreme, but I am truly fascinated and delighted.

Along with discovering her work and with my oldest daughter immersed in her Fine Art program, I find myself wanting to delve into art. We have recently acquired some local work as well, and I feel truly alive when I look at them.

I feel privileged to be learning the art of Kung Fu. And that’s what it is, an art. It’s not a sport or a hobby. It’s an art in danger of being lost, due to the rage of things like the UFC. Practicing the art of Kung fu, is a lifelong endeavour, one that fills the soul, and keeps the body moving. The never ending journey of learning will keep our minds young and sharp.

I am so grateful to be learning Kung Fu, as well as having art at my disposal

Wishes

“...Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise....”
- Maya Angelou, Still I Rise

Into every journey, there are ups and downs. Waves that rise and fall. Clouds that come and go.

My wish for you, is that you find the strength to keep moving forward when you think you can’t go any further. I wish that in the darkness you can still see the light and that you can feel the warmth in a smile. I wish for you to find a way to dig deeper, to ask for help when you need it, and to offer support when you can. I wish for you to know that you are strong, much more than you think you are. I wish for you to know you are cared for, you are thought of, and you are missed when you are not around. I wish for you to always be kind, and to answer anger and intolerance with kindness. I wish for you to have all that you need, enough food, enough shelter, enough warmth and love.

I am sending a smile your way, with warm thoughts to carry you through. You are not alone. We are all here for you. And you are safe.

Titles can be hard...

I am a little apprehensive about the banquet and all of the practices leading up to it. I have been in a lot more pain/ discomfort lately and I have difficulty getting through 2.5 hours of teaching classes. Now, the banquet isn’t a class, but a long day like that takes its toll. Even this past Saturday was really challenging to get through. But, we shall see how things go right? Flares come and go and maybe the banquet will be on a good day...

So that’s where I am at. I try to stay as positive as I can, and take each day as it comes. I have been on this path long enough to know that there are always some bumps in the road but that road does have its smooth spots. I have learned to focus on other things when I hit a bump, and if I stay focused on the path, accept the bumps or detours then all will be good. As it should be.

Black Belt

Almost 10 years ago, I took off my second degree brown belt, and tied a black belt around my waist. To this day, I am still earning that belt. It took a lot of sweat blood and tears before I was able to earn it. And that journey continues as I earn the right to keep it tied around my waist.

My actions, my attitude, and my approach will determine my path. Respect is earned, it is not a right. My actions, my attitude and my approach will either earn that respect or not. My instructors have spent and continue to spend their time and their expertise teaching me. That is a gift that I will always cherish. They spent a lot of time helping me on my path to black Belt, and each time I graded for my next degree, that fact was not lost. Time and time again, they are there to help me.

There is so much knowledge between the masters in our school, it is difficult not to be humbled. I look up to them and I hope that one day, with hard work, discipline and respect, I might have half the knowledge that they do

Just smile

One of the reasons I love teaching the younger kids, is that they are usually in the moment. They don’t worry about anything while they are learning Kung fu. Except maybe that someone else went first... kids amaze me that way. They can spot a small ant carrying something and just stop and watch. Or they just stop and smell the flowers along the way, not worried about slowing anyone down. And they truly experience Kung Fu. They don’t concern themselves with their next stripe or their next belt. They are just in the now.

I find my best time to be in the moment is when I am practicing Tai Chi. And I have learned to just smile to myself when I realize that I have skipped ahead in the form, or repeated a certain part. I have learned to accept that moment and that this is just where I needed to be in the form.

As adults, it’s too easy to forget how to be in the moment, and cherish each one.

Choices

So, I know where I am, and what I am doing. Or not doing. I am aware that I make choices to protect my ego. I am aware of when I choose to avoid things. I am also aware of when I try something regardless of the outcome. I am aware of when I make a positive choice. I can choose to push myself, or hastily retreat. I can fold inwards or spread my wings outwards.

I can compare myself to those around me, or I can compare myself to yesterday and measure my growth. I can let injury or illness stop me, or I can adapt to the best of my abilities. I can wallow, or celebrate.

There are many, many choices to make, each and every day. Every moment. Some will be unconscious, and some will be with purpose

Still breathing

I’m still breathing. I am still moving forward, although not always at a speed that’s visible. I am still adapting. I am doing my requirements, but am not where I should be at this time. I write down my numbers when I think of it, so there is a lot that are unaccounted for.

I am the only one responsible and I am the only one who can change this.

I usually start getting excited this time of year, as we start to prep for Chinese New Year. But this year I am finding it harder to psyche myself up. I worry about how I am going to handle all the practices physically, and how well I’ll be able to handle the whole day of the banquet. But now that I have this written, I understand that there is no point in worrying about it yet. The best thing to do, is to do my best each day. And to take each day as it comes. I’ll adapt. I’ll move forward. I’ll keep breathing.