Smile

Today, just before I met with my one on one meetings outside on the deck, I took a moment. And in that moment, I didn’t think. I just closed my eyes, and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. I always feel the most at peace when I take those moments. Just a deep breath, and the warm light on me.

I find that while I am getting used to the isolating, I still feel stress, and often feel overwhelmed. But it’s these moments that re-ground me and allow me to carry on. I am grateful for this.

I am grateful that we can all still train together while still far apart. I am grateful that we are on this journey together. And I have hope that we will pull through together.

I’m Waving!

Yes I am. From back here. Yes, you’re going to have to turn around to see me as I’m straggling a little.

I’m a little behind in my requirements, some more than others. But I am still moving forward, not quitting. My training is more cerebral right now, with keeping the classes on line in the forefront. I struggle some days, but not every day and that’s a blessing. I have lots to keep me engaged, which does help in propelling me forward.

Thank you team, for being so awesome, and for waving back!

2 Weeks

It’s been 2 weeks since we closed the doors at the Kwoon. 2 weeks since we have seen each other in person, face to face. 2 weeks into a new “normal”. So how are we doing? I think some of us are fairing better than others, but isn’t that to be expected? This isolation doesn’t bother me too much, as I am an introvert, and I don’t have much desire to get out without a pandemic to stop me.

Anyway, I have had the opportunity to connect with my students, and that means a lot. While streaming services have been cut back, and our video quality isn’t the same as last week, it still gives us a window of opportunity. I have had the chance for a couple of one on one sessions, and they were cool. I hope the students got as much out of them as I did.

On another note, I have encountered an area of my training that has been a struggle from day 1. And it boils down to intent. Not enough Grrr in my Kung Fu. Too much Tai Chi in my Kung Fu. A lack of intensity I guess. So, I have to shift my focus to this and continue on that path...Let’s see where I am in another 2 weeks.

Godzilla Rises

Mr. Whitehouse-Strong mentioned something in his blog today and I agree with his comments on videotaping yourself. I have always shied away from that because I hate looking at myself on video. However, having to do it so I could post my beta version on the I Ho Chuan group was eye opening.
First, I noticed that I move way slower than I feel I am. And I realize why - I have been practicing this way for too long. And probably my Tai Chi practice doesn’t help either. So that’s problem #1.
Problem #2 is that my timing is off on a few techniques. Sigh.
So to fix problem #1, I need to explore a few options. Put more snap in the end off all my techniques. And train with more speed and power. This is going to take some time, but that’s ok. And to address problem #2, I just need to focus on the timing; and to do that I need to watch the video some more.

Did you all see Godzilla rise in my butterfly knife form? Grrrrrrrr.

Compassion

With the current situation out in the world, it’s so easy to get caught up in the fray. There is panic, hoarding, avoidance, anger, frustration, fear, and heightened anxiety to name a few. Sifu Brinker posted on our schools social network about being calm and compassionate and of course careful. Wash your hands often, clean/ disinfect more frequently, and set an example of leadership by taking care of our most vulnerable.
I would like to share with you a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh. “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvellously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”
This quote speaks to me, and reminds me to be mindful during this pandemic. I would like to encourage you to breathe deeply into your lowest abdomen. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Remind yourself of what you have today. Think about what you can do for someone else. We are in this together, and I truly believe that that is how we will get through this. Buy what you need for right now. Save some for others who also need it. Offer your services if you can. Pray, meditate, feed your spirit. Share the compassion I know you have to give.

Gratitude

One of my requirements this year was to keep a gratitude journal. I picked a simple one, that has 5 specific boxes to fill in with a daily quote. I find this journal to be nice and simple for me. I don’t have to sit there and wait for words to come, as I have a small prompt in front of me.
This was a great requirement for myself. I have been able to look at previous entries, and am reminded of the things I am grateful for. Sometimes it is hard to see light, but this helps a lot. Some things I am grateful for - my dog, for waking me up in the morning by licking my arm, for my warm bed to snuggle up in. I am grateful for my husband who supports me and encourages me. I am grateful for our kids, for giving me a reason to get up in the morning. I am grateful for Kung Fu, for being able to train and to share my knowledge, and to learn every single day.
Some days I focus on the little things that get missed in the big picture, and sometimes I focus on the big picture. Regardless of what I write that I am grateful for that day, it serves a moment to be mindful and it grounds me.

No Journey is ever Straight

I have been trying to write this for an hour now. It’s almost as if I have too much to say, but no words to get my thoughts out. I very briefly considered putting this attempt to rest and trying it again tomorrow, but I know it’s a slippery slope.
Well, I had to come back to this a day later as I found myself with a case of canine paralysis (the dog crawled onto my lap, preventing me from further typing.).
I have been thinking a lot lately about how our lives never quite go the way we plan. We get sick or injured, or a family member does, or perhaps it’s the simple act of aging. We may lose a job, or start a family. Regardless, things rarely go exactly to plan. Which is why we need to develop the ability to adapt. Kung Fu teaches us this through forms, techniques, and through all of the tools we are given. The only caveat is we must be consistent in our training.
I could say that I didn’t complete 1000 pushups on Saturday because I spent 3 hours in the car to and from Camrose, and a couple of hours visiting there. But that’s just a poor excuse. I didn’t complete them because it wasn’t a priority, plain and simple. I recognize this and I see that I failed to adapt to my circumstances. I had lots of time at the school Saturday but only managed to get in 200 pushups.
There is a lesson here for me. I need to follow through on my promises and I need to focus more on adapting to the situation.
Here’s to the next challenge!