Black Belt

Almost 10 years ago, I took off my second degree brown belt, and tied a black belt around my waist. To this day, I am still earning that belt. It took a lot of sweat blood and tears before I was able to earn it. And that journey continues as I earn the right to keep it tied around my waist.

My actions, my attitude, and my approach will determine my path. Respect is earned, it is not a right. My actions, my attitude and my approach will either earn that respect or not. My instructors have spent and continue to spend their time and their expertise teaching me. That is a gift that I will always cherish. They spent a lot of time helping me on my path to black Belt, and each time I graded for my next degree, that fact was not lost. Time and time again, they are there to help me.

There is so much knowledge between the masters in our school, it is difficult not to be humbled. I look up to them and I hope that one day, with hard work, discipline and respect, I might have half the knowledge that they do

Just smile

One of the reasons I love teaching the younger kids, is that they are usually in the moment. They don’t worry about anything while they are learning Kung fu. Except maybe that someone else went first... kids amaze me that way. They can spot a small ant carrying something and just stop and watch. Or they just stop and smell the flowers along the way, not worried about slowing anyone down. And they truly experience Kung Fu. They don’t concern themselves with their next stripe or their next belt. They are just in the now.

I find my best time to be in the moment is when I am practicing Tai Chi. And I have learned to just smile to myself when I realize that I have skipped ahead in the form, or repeated a certain part. I have learned to accept that moment and that this is just where I needed to be in the form.

As adults, it’s too easy to forget how to be in the moment, and cherish each one.

Choices

So, I know where I am, and what I am doing. Or not doing. I am aware that I make choices to protect my ego. I am aware of when I choose to avoid things. I am also aware of when I try something regardless of the outcome. I am aware of when I make a positive choice. I can choose to push myself, or hastily retreat. I can fold inwards or spread my wings outwards.

I can compare myself to those around me, or I can compare myself to yesterday and measure my growth. I can let injury or illness stop me, or I can adapt to the best of my abilities. I can wallow, or celebrate.

There are many, many choices to make, each and every day. Every moment. Some will be unconscious, and some will be with purpose

Still breathing

I’m still breathing. I am still moving forward, although not always at a speed that’s visible. I am still adapting. I am doing my requirements, but am not where I should be at this time. I write down my numbers when I think of it, so there is a lot that are unaccounted for.

I am the only one responsible and I am the only one who can change this.

I usually start getting excited this time of year, as we start to prep for Chinese New Year. But this year I am finding it harder to psyche myself up. I worry about how I am going to handle all the practices physically, and how well I’ll be able to handle the whole day of the banquet. But now that I have this written, I understand that there is no point in worrying about it yet. The best thing to do, is to do my best each day. And to take each day as it comes. I’ll adapt. I’ll move forward. I’ll keep breathing.

Breathe and recalibrate

How do you ground yourself when things change in a hurry? How do you adapt? How do you cope? I think we need to understand that change is constant and sometimes it isn’t even obvious. Other times, it’s as subtle as a surprise snowfall. With change, we have to remember to breathe. To stop and recalibrate our plans so that they can mesh with the new path.

Staying grounded during change is important so that your ability to remain calm stays intact. Kung Fu has been important to me in that aspect. It’s like delving into the void and trusting the basics to see you through. I tend to withdraw before I can embrace change. Although sometimes this leads to simply distracting myself until I have to deal with it directly

Tiger Challenge!

Ever have those days where there are so many thoughts racing through your head, however you know they are negative so you do your best to distract yourself to keep them from taking hold? That’s me today. It’s made this blog a little more challenging to write, but here it is.

The Tiger Challenge is this week, and while I think I am prepared, I don’t truly believe that I ever would be entirely. I guess that’s a good thing though, since that just reminds me that this is a journey and not a destination. I will always need to improve in some aspect of my training, and really that’s the exciting part.

So, good luck to everyone that entered! See you there!

Snorkel

Chronic stress and worry can leave you run down, no matter how much rest you think you are getting and how good you are taking care of yourself. And that stress and worry might not even be in the forefront, but it is taking its toll regardless.

I came down with the flu this weekend, and am currently sitting here in yoga pants and a hoodie drinking a super smoothie my husband made me. I have a cat and a dog asleep beside me, and I am feeling snug like anyone likes to feel when they are sick. I know my numbers slid backwards a little weekend because of this “bug” and hopefully I can pick them up when I start to feel better