Spear or Broadsword

It’s too bad this blog won’t write itself. I have been trying (more like thinking about I) for a few hours now. Too often when I get like this, I put it off and I am lucky if I can get something out for the week.

I have finished putting my year of the dog requirements into a spreadsheet for tracking and I have been pondering my weapon form choice. I was planning on the schools spear form, but after talking about it with Sifu Brinker, it might not be my best option. The tendinitis I experience will definitely slow me down and very possibly hold me back. So what to do? I realize it’s a risk for any weapon and it’s a risk I have to mitigate. My second choice is the Tai Chi Broadsword form with the light weight sword. It’s very, very late in the game for me to be second guessing this.

I think I just talked myself into the Tai Chi Broadsword. Less risk involved, and therefore the smarter thing to do.

Hm. I guess this blog did just write itself.

Joy

One of the reasons I love teaching kids is simple. Joy. It is so rewarding to see their smiles, hear their giggles and see the delight in their eyes. I see their joy, and I also feel joy and that makes it so worthwhile. It can be challenging sometimes, but those challenges make joy even more rewarding.

I cherish seeing the students grow, and improve. Watching them grow more confident reminds me of what this journey is all about. The younger kids especially are almost always in the moment and don’t sweat the small stuff. I have so much to learn from them.

Traditions

Traditions help keep us connected, bring people together, and remind us of things that need to be remembered.

Traditions can be used to show signs of respect, and are important to keeping us in the moment. Reminding us of where we are and what we are doing. They remind of where we come from, and what gifts and opportunities we have been given.

They may remind us of who we have lost, and can give us an opportunity to reflect and keep them in our hearts.

Think about who you are. Think about all of the people and experiences that have helped to mold you and that have brought you here today. And all of the different paths taken, that brought you here.

There are a lot of students that I don’t know yet, and black belts that I have only heard of by name. However, they are important in my journey. I am here today, grateful for all of those who have come before me, those who train with me now, and those that I have yet to meet.

Grateful

I went for an acupuncture treatment this morning, and while I was lying there trying to relax, I noticed my thoughts and how all over the place they were. So after recognizing this, I focused on my breathing. With each breath out, I attached a mental picture. Breathing out I smiled at my heart. Breathing out I smiled in gratitude for my family. Breathing out I smiled in gratitude for being able to receive treatment. And the list went on, until finally I realized my whole body was relaxed.

I am grateful for so much. I am extremely fortunate to live where we do, to practice Kung Fu with so many like minded and amazing people. I think about the many paths I have taken over my lifetime, and how those paths have lead me here. To this moment. It’s wonderful, and I am truly grateful.

Kindness

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
- Plato

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
- Desmond Tutu

I’ve learned that the act of giving kindness, or being kind always comes back. Sometimes twofold. I’ve learned that it takes very little effort to be kind, and that world needs so much more.

Where I am at...

At our I Ho Chuan meetings, we are asked how we are doing with our requirements. Where are we at? Are we struggling, or are we doing alright?

I have debated many times about talking and explaining where I am at but was never really comfortable. I can tell you that I am not where I should be. Part of me is also reluctant to discuss my physical issues as I don’t want to complain, however it has been holding me back. I suppose it’s a twofold issue though.

The first being the lower back injury I suffered with my vehicle collision last year. Some days are worse than others, but there is stiffness and some pain. Stretching helps a little, as does massage and chiropractic. But it will hopefully just take some time to get there. It has however given me some empathy to those who suffer with back pain and will never be pain free. I guess we find ways to work around it though.

The second is I have had an affliction (?) for the last 4 years or so. It was diagnosed as Restless Leg Syndrome initially, but after seeing a different doctor I have a diagnosis that makes more sense. Fibromyalgia. I have tried a few different medications over the years, but am finally on one that is helping for the most part. Trying to keep my stress down, and am working on ways to keep the pain and discomfort to a minimum.

So where is it that I am at? All my numbers are down. It’s been challenging to practice a lot as physically I just couldn’t handle it. But I haven’t quit and I certainly haven’t given up. I am taking each day as it comes, and beginning anew each day. I have my requirements down for next year, and hopefully it will be a better one!

Well, I survived. Actually I succeeded. Not a really big, fireworks kind of success, but a quiet subdued one and I am ok with that. And I know my performance sucked out loud, as my whole body was shaking the whole time I was out there. But that doesn’t matter. I didn’t go out there to win against anyone. I went out there to challenge my mind. And it was hard. And a big part of me just wanted to leave before my event. But I didn’t. I went out there and I sucked. But I didn’t cry, nor did I let in any negative self talk which is no easy feat either.

I am sure next year will also be a difficult tournament to enter, but do have a success to build on. A tiny one, but a success all the same.