Training partners

I have been thinking about training partners in Kung Fu. I have trained with different partners over the years, but I have always had a “safe” person. I have a lot of trust in them, and when I am full of self doubt I can relax with them. And while it is great to work with this person, and I hope to have the opportunilty for years to come, I have also recognized the challenge and benefit involved with working with someone different.

Training with one specific person has helped me in many ways. And the challenge with someone new is that what works on one person may need to be adjusted for another. Height, and flexibility (or joints that don’t lock as easily) change things.

Sparring is good for this too, as you have to adjust for every different opponent. But to actually apply techniques is where it gets exciting.

As a rule, I have worked with mostly other girls/ women in training. And for some things, this is a bonus. But lately I have been working exclusively with two male Sihings. Wow. I have had to work on my “meaness”, or intensity and this has been awesome for it. I am finding ways to make contact without actually hurting anyone. Basically, using a slightly different part of my body - for example using my tricep instead of my elbow. I have pulled my techniques for a long time.

Working with someone you don’t usually work with also gives you the opportunity to see things from a different perspective. We all learn differently, and we differ in our approach.

So I am torn on having one specific partner to work with. I really like the security and safety factor, but I have grown so much by working with the guys. I find it exciting and challenging, and I recommend mixing it up to everyone.

Peace to you...

I am looking forward to my training over the holidays. While on one hand I have been feeling overwhelmed with everything, I am learning a new form. It is one I started to learn a couple of years ago, but dropped it when I focused on training for my blackbelt. I didn’t feel it was fair to put energy into something new when I wanted to perfect all the rest of my curriculum.

I started learning the form on Saturday, and I really like it. The stances are a bit different from what I am used to and I have muscles that I forgot about. Or maybe it's because my stances haven't been deep enough before. Who knows, but I like it. It has a lot of flow to it, and it just feels good. Hopefully I can make it look as good as it feels.

On another note, I have been thinking about the past year, and the trials, tribulations and successes that I have endured. I couldn’t have gotten to where I am today without the support of my family, friends, and Kung Fu family. We are lucky to have the community that we do, and the way we have come together is humbling.

I know that we can and will make a change in our world. But it starts within.

Peace to you and yours, always.

Charlie Brown

I love putting up and decorating my Christmas tree. In fact, if I could do it for a living all year round I would.

Believe it or not, I had a job for about 4 years, seasonal of course, putting up commercial trees. It was the best job I ever had. It was dirty, and I was always scratched up, but the satisfaction has yet to be beat. It was only for about 5 months a year, but it was great. We put up trees in WEM, Canada Place, Manulife Place, the International Airport, to name a few.

But I am now a tree snob. I have “my” tree, and my girls have their own tree to decorate as they please. I finally put up our trees this weekend. It was unfortunately a long process, but I am content now that it is done. I get so much out of placing each branch, and placing each light, and then the seeing the final product. Anyone who sees my tree would probably see it as impersonal and think it belonged in a store. But it makes me happy and I could spend some serious down time just staring at it.

It has been a challenge with my girls though. Maya wants to help me, and it is really difficult to let her. But I do anyway, and this year felt really good. She is like me in that she likes things precise, and because she knew it was important to me, she took care in putting the decorations on.

I also found a great way to go to work in the morning. I drive past Central Park in Spruce Grove, and because it is still dark, I get to see all the trees lit up. It is beautiful and makes me smile. The lights aren’t perfect, but the sheer magnificence of them all is amazing. For me anyway. I know it is a lot of electriicity, but well...

I know this post doesn’t have any relevance to Kung Fu, except for the fact that it was a break in my routine. I am struggling with my life’s balance, and for a while, I can stare at my tree (s), and relax.

Off Balance

Finding the right balance, in my opinion, is the biggest challenge in training. It’s one thing to just go to the minimum required classes, but it’s another thing to feel the passion and energy one gets from putting in a lot of time. I feel off balance right now. I am training an extra 3 nights a week on top of everything else and am losing my ground.

When I got my second degree brown belt, it didn’t occur to me to stop going to the Monday/ Wednesday classes. I simply added the Friday class and I get so much out of that. I have continued to learn by attending those extra classes, and I am sure I always will.

And in training for my black belt over the last while, I have had to let things go in order to maintain some balance in my life. I have let some housework go, and am not nearly as organized as I would like to be. It was a necessary thing, and I would do it again without hesitation. But I feel like I am drowning.

How much do I lean on others to reach my personal goals? What changes can I make so that nothing suffers? I have to remind myself that I can relax a bit in a few months. This is a temporary thing. But is it? I need Kung Fu. But I need to breathe too. And I can’t forget that I am a mother. I don’t want to miss anything.

So I have decided for now, to cut out one of my extra classes on Wednesdays. It was a hard decision, but I have to find the balance somehow.

I refuse to quit trying to find that balance.

Peace

Preparing for the grading this year, has taken considerable time and committment. I have had to prioritize my usual activities and it worked out okay. And with my family committments, I am now at Kung Fu 6 days a week. Definitely a home away from home.

I found peace this week in a place I had almost forgotten about. Saying that I feel like a terrible mom because it has always been in front of my face, and I just didn’t take the time to look.

We look at sleeping babies, and peaceful is always a thought that comes to mind. The other night, my oldest daughter called me in to their room because she couldn’t sleep. Her sister was zonked right out, but she was having some trouble. So I crawled into bed with them, and she cuddled right up. She fell asleep within moments. I ended up laying there for a while, holding her, and listening to both girls breathe.

It gave me unbelievable peace. I haven’t felt that in a long time and it brought me almost to tears. In the chaos of our everyday lives, I had forgotten the gift of my children. They don’t need me to cuddle much anymore, and we spend more time rough housing. They are almost 8 and 6 1/2 years old, and are fairly independent.

Kung Fu has given us a way to connect through physical play - sparring in the kitchen, or grappling on the floor. But taking time to just cuddle while they slept was an unmeasurable pleasure.

The unconditional love and trust is so humbling. Just lying there, made all my stresses disappear, and time almost stood still. I know why I am a mother, and why I was given my two girls. They center me, and make me strive to be a better person. I have watched them grow into the people they are, and I am so proud. And what’s great, is that they have told me they are proud of me too.

The world is a tumultuous place right now. And I found peace in my very own home. In my arms, as my girls slept.

We give and give, and sometimes forget to really see what our return is. The responsibility of children is great, but the rewards cannot be measured.

Mental Block

I missed posting on Sunday like I usually do, and I am finding it hard to do today. I have enjoyed journalling once a week, and fairly often do it more. I actually wrote one last week on teaching, and I am sure I saved it, but haven’t been able to find it. Oops.

I am not too sure where this is going to go, so bare with me please.

1) I have been working hard on a couple of goals - Kung Fu of course. I have learned through the process of breaking down a few basic kicks, that I have a couple of bad habits. And I also learned that through these bad habits, I have less power. So by removing speed from the equation, and focusing on executing the technique slowly and purposely, my technique has improved as well as my power. It is very cool.

2) I have also had some mental blocks lately, blocks that could probably stop a roundhouse kick to the head. Okay, maybe not. I have had to approach my life as if I am a machine in order to get through the day, and have found myself wishing I could just stay in bed. However, the Pandamonium was a good kick in the pants. It was a lot of fun, I got all sweaty, and felt good after. It was good.

3) I have a secure job, but am not really happy with it. I have been trying to incorporate some of my Kung Fu passion into my teaching at work, but it is a challenge to say the least. It is really difficult to teach people something when they don’t want to be there. Open up and say “Ahhhhh”.

4) On a side note, I have had the opportunity to see a lot of changes in the world in my lifetime. The first African American president of the USA for one. I think that is a change that will echo for a long time, and it’s a good change. A promising change.

5) I can’t leave this on 4. It isn’t a good number, so here is number 5. I am still struggling to become a more assertive person, and Kung Fu has helped me somewhat. I sitll have a long ways to go, and I will as long as I continue to cherish the gift of Kung Fu. Kung Fu has definitely helped my kids become more confident. Within 6 months, at the age of 3, Haley went from a child with her head buried in my chest to the loudest kid in class. I have had parents come to me, and worry about why their child won’t come on the mats the first class of two they are there. I tell them to be persisitent in coming, and eventually it will happen. Patience, and consistency.

Some random thoughts for today. I feel better about journalling for today, even though it’s all over the place. It needed to come out.

“Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.” Hahahaha.

Alley Cat or Cat Fu?

I pushed myself to my limit last Saturday. It would have been nice to have been 100% healthy, but that was not the case. When I got injured again 6 weeks before the grading, I had entertained the idea of putting it off and waiting until next year. However, there was no guarantee that I would have been in any better shape then, and where would my head have been?

So I am very happy with myself, for pushing hard and getting through the day. It was more intense than I expected, and yet so rewarding. I still have a ways to go mind you, and this journey is only just beginning. I found myself surrounded by a couple of fellow students, who, with their intensity, pushed me harder too.

I have always considered myself to be fairly tough and strong, but next to them I feel like a sissy girl. Oh well. It gives me the chance to push even harder and raise the bar on my training. If my mental intensity can go up, and my technique gets better, then perhaps my overall physical output will be that much more impressive.

Or maybe I need to adjust my mentality, and be a tiger! (i’m a rabbit so this could be a challenge). A tiger is graceful, yet oh so powerful. Hm. I may have to start with an alley cat mentality.

Cat Fu anyone?