Peace

Preparing for the grading this year, has taken considerable time and committment. I have had to prioritize my usual activities and it worked out okay. And with my family committments, I am now at Kung Fu 6 days a week. Definitely a home away from home.

I found peace this week in a place I had almost forgotten about. Saying that I feel like a terrible mom because it has always been in front of my face, and I just didn’t take the time to look.

We look at sleeping babies, and peaceful is always a thought that comes to mind. The other night, my oldest daughter called me in to their room because she couldn’t sleep. Her sister was zonked right out, but she was having some trouble. So I crawled into bed with them, and she cuddled right up. She fell asleep within moments. I ended up laying there for a while, holding her, and listening to both girls breathe.

It gave me unbelievable peace. I haven’t felt that in a long time and it brought me almost to tears. In the chaos of our everyday lives, I had forgotten the gift of my children. They don’t need me to cuddle much anymore, and we spend more time rough housing. They are almost 8 and 6 1/2 years old, and are fairly independent.

Kung Fu has given us a way to connect through physical play - sparring in the kitchen, or grappling on the floor. But taking time to just cuddle while they slept was an unmeasurable pleasure.

The unconditional love and trust is so humbling. Just lying there, made all my stresses disappear, and time almost stood still. I know why I am a mother, and why I was given my two girls. They center me, and make me strive to be a better person. I have watched them grow into the people they are, and I am so proud. And what’s great, is that they have told me they are proud of me too.

The world is a tumultuous place right now. And I found peace in my very own home. In my arms, as my girls slept.

We give and give, and sometimes forget to really see what our return is. The responsibility of children is great, but the rewards cannot be measured.