A few simple words.

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

- Chinese Proverb -

To Market, to market

I have to admit, that being a single mom, and busy, I am a sucker for convenience foods. I try to buy mostly fresh and unprocessed stuff, but it is hard at times. So my goal is to eat better, buy and eat locally, and therefore make a smaller impact on the world around us. More importantly, I am going to shop the Farmer’s Market for my produce.

I experienced some insane guilt earlier this week, and this has spurred me to make a bigger effort. I was shopping for groceries last weekend, and saw bagged snow peas. I love them, so I bought them for lunches. However, Monday, when I took a closer look at the bag, I realized that they were imported from China.

The very country that has been ravaged by an earthquake. The very country that 15 million people are homeless and probably have little access to food. But yet, here I am, eating the food that they need way more than I do.

I talked to my best friend about it, as I could’t eat them without this incredible guilt, but at the same time couldn’t just throw them away. My friend told me that as long as I was aware of it, and since they would have been imported here anyway, that I should eat them. The guilt was showing me that I was a good person, even though I didn’t feel like it.

I also read an article this week on a bacteria called C. Diff. It is found in humans, mostly in people who are hospitalized for a period of time, and it causes some serious flu symptioms. However, the kicker, is that it has also been found in beef and pork. They say that the bacteria hasn’t crossed over from animals to humans, but the very fact that it is present scares me.

And if that isn’t enough to turn a person off eating, then how about the tomatoes being recalled due to large cases of salmonella being reported. What is our world coming to?

We have an obvious food shortage, and the food that we have isn’t necessarily all that safe either. I feel that by shopping locally, I have a much better chance of buying healthier produce. In turn, I am also promoting my local community. I am definitely not too comfortable with meat at this time either, but perhaps if I shop at my local butcher, I am also better off. That I am not sure. But I just might forgoe the meat altogether, since I have never really liked it anyway.

And eggs. I would rather buy free range eggs than the regular ones. What is the risk of eating a contaminated egg if the chickens are smushed together, never seeing the light of day, and dying in the same condition? Gone are the days of more natural farming and production.

So if the peas I ate from China weren’t needed there, would I feel less guilty? Probably not. Think about the environmental aspect of shipping them here. The fuel burned by the ships, the trains, the trucks just to reach my local store. The carbon footprint is exponential.

I worry a bit about what I eat. Maybe I worry about it too much. But if no one ever worried, then we would be in a lot more trouble.

What to do...

Every morning during coffee break at work, we watch a national news channel. There has been an ongong story where they are interviewing Canadian athletes going to China for the Olympics.

What makes me upset is that they are so focused on the possible medals to be won, not the recent death and destruction caused from the May 12 earthquake. Tell me please what is wrong with us when we can completely disassociate ourselves from this tragedy?

I can completely understand the absolute devotion and training that would have to go into training for the Olympics and not being able to just shut that off. I mean, it’s a life’s dream to be able to participate in something so global, and a chance of a lifetime. (Training for a black belt could be considered the same such dream, but probably not to the same scope.)

But with that said, I personally would be so filled with guilt that I doubt I could perform at my best. Knowing that only kilometers away, approximately 100 000 people have died and more than a million are homeless and starving. How could I live with myself? How can Canada as a nation be so focused on the Olympics and not on trying to help rebuild the country? If we cannot help our fellow man in a time of need, then it’s no wonder our world is in the state it’s in. I personally feel that the athletes and any others should not only be assisting financially, but should be over there helping to rebuild the nation. Look at what the 100. and the Rural Studio accomplishes in Alabama. It is amazing and should become more global.

I could go into a miriad of other segways with this, the issues in Burma, the China/ Tibet issue and so on, but my point today is on the Olympics themselves. They open us up to wordly issues, and to a degree brings the world together on an equal playing field. But in my opinion, for right now, the Olympics should not be a focus for anyone. Families have been torn apart. lives lost, houses and businesses completely destroyed. Is there clean water? Food?

I doubt I will feel comfortable watching them, when I know as a Canadian we will not be represented as the country we are. It astounds me, how selfish we have become. As Master Brinker posted today, I am also very fortunate to have the life I have. And we cannot foget the world around us.

I am...Super Mom!

If I was a superhero...

I would have some pretty amazing powers. This thought started a couple of weeks ago when my oldest daughter said I was “Super Mom”. I was wearing the only cape I own - it’s knitted and warm, and hardly has superhero qualities. My best friend also gave me a book on building a robot army and so I was morivated to reread another book I have, called “The Action Heroine’s Handbook”.

Now if I was a superhero, my cape would have to be able to repel bullets, repair itself, and give me the ability to become invisible. And of course it would have to be black, like Batman.

I think that I would also need some serious butt kicking boots. And probably a mask too. Now, I technically have some ninja like skills already - they do need lots of work stilll, and they will only get better. As a mom, I also already have eyes on the back of my head, and a sixth sense for when my girls are getting into trouble. I have an amazing ability to juggle many tasks at once, which is a must for a Super Mom. I have a zippy car which can also hold a lot of stuff. Plus, being white, my car has an uncanny ability to camoflauge in the winter.

In addition to the skills I already have, I think I need to work on my grappling skills, rappling skills, flying skills and wall climbing. I think I would need to be able to run very fast when needed, and have the strength to lift a heavy vehicle. (I’m thinking rescue here). I would like to have the ability to project a hologram of myself, so that I can actually be in two places at once. Beneficial when it comes to kids ( and bad guys). I would want to be able to drive any vehicle whether it’s a motorcycle or a monster truck, to operating a raft in white water rapids or flying a helicopter.

I think an arsenal of toys would be essential too. Think Batman or James Bond. Toys, lots of toys.

I could be a superhero, but I think in today’s world I would be way too busy. I would need more trusty sidekicks than I could count. So I guess I will stick with the SuperMom status my kids have labelled me with, and the powers that go with it. Not to mention a future of Kung Fu so I will be ready to intimidate those boys that will eventually want to date my girls. I think their training in Kung Fu will help them there too, and will give them some advance for if and when they become SuperMoms.

Until next time....KAPOW!
(Yes, I might be a little geeky, and I am okay with that).

My Grateful List

A while ago, I watched a video on Youtube, which was an interview of sorts on Oprah. It was a man diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, who was given 3 to 6 months before his health would take a major turn for the worse. I am now reading the book. “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch.

It has me looking at my life, what I have done so far, and wondering where I am going. I have also been inspired to start a “Grateful” list. A list of things that I know I take for granted, and should make notes of often that they are something to cherish.

This will be a work in progress, as I know I can’t think of everything in one go. And this is in no particular order. I am grateful for...


1. My parents. (They gave me life, and supported me even when they disagreed).
2. My girls.
3. My career.
4. My Kung Fu.
5. My failed marriage (This one because without it, I probably wouldn’t have numbers 2, 3, and 4.)
6. The phenomenal instructors at Kung Fu. ( They have offered so much support and inspiration over the years).
7. My health.
8. I live in a place that is relatively free from natural disasters so far.
9. Freedom of speech
10. Being able to follow my own religious beliefs without fear of prosecution
11. The opportunity to pursue education
12. The opportunities every day to make a difference somehow.
13. Meeting my best friend and soul mate.
14. The serentiy at my parents acreage. I can listen to the frogs, the grouse, the birds all day long. Not to mention the wind in the trees.
15. The ability to enjoy the simple things, like blowing bubbles or flying a kite.

This list is going to grow and I plan on adding to it constantly. This list is now something that I can look back on and gather strength from. It is also humbling to realize just how good I have it here.

I hope to live for a long time yet, and I hope to make the most out of every moment because we do not know when it is our turn to go.

A Challenge to Remember

So, I came out of the Tiger Challenge with something I didn’t expect. I expected to learn a lot as I did last year, and I expected to be full of inspiration towards my goals and training. However, I didn’t expect to be humbled the way I was, and almost frozen from fhe prospects of the journey to come.

I realized that while I have learned a lot so far, I have so much farther to go. I thought that I was getting better, and perhaps I am, but I can still improve a lot more.

I have to admit, that the whole experience really affected me, as I just didn’t feel good enough, and that maybe I should seriously re-think grading for black belt this year. I mean, I have so much more to learn, how can I possibly fit a black belt in all of that?

And that brings to question, what is a black belt? It’s the goal I have aspired to for a long time, but it is really scary in that what happens when I achieve that? Obviously more learning, as it never stops, but how do I fit it all in? I have to keep taking that step back, to remind myself that nothing happens overnight, and if it did, who would possibly appreciate it? If I could earn a black belt overnight, then what would be the point? Is it a symbol of the learning and progress that I have made so far? Does it represent the trials and tribulations that got me there?

Master Brinker mentioned the other day the cycles that we go through mentally. I feel at the bottom of that right now. It feels very daunting, to imagine myself passing the grading. Am I at my physical and mental best? I should be in the best shape of my life, but am instead questioning the reasons I go to class.

I worked hard on Kempo, and feel that this performance was my best yet. I felt pretty good about it, and even better that I pushed myself to compete. I haven’t competed in anything since I was a teen because I don’t handle the pressure very well. It happened to be a fellow student that inspired me to compete, and because of her example, I took a step forward.

So what am I trying to say here? I am saying that I stepped out of my comfort zone and did something that scared me. I also came out of the tournament a whole lot more humble than when I went in. I was once again reminded of the journey I am on, and while I question myself constantly, maybe it is a good thing. I hope that questioning my abilities as a martial artist will help to keep me from becoming arrogant, and will keep me on the true path of my journey.

As of today, I am still moving foward, but much more mindfully.

Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day!

Goal Setting 101

In order to grade for black belt, there are a number of assignments that we must first complete. All of them seem somewhat daunting, but there is a purpose. And it’s funny how I end up being reminded of that purpose everytime I have a new assignment due.

Take for instance the 26 000 pushups to be completed in a 6 month period. Once you break it down into a manageable 150 per day, and then perhaps break it down into 3 or more sessions, then it isn’t really that impossible to do. Not to mention the strength you build.

We had a memorization assignment. This one worried me a bit, because when it comes to testing or having to present something orally, I tend to freeze and forget all I know. After a week or so, I figured out how to approach this one. But I had to first remind myself as to why I was doing this. We aren’t given these things so that we have something to do, but it a valuable tool that we are being taught to use. How to set a goal, break it down into more manageable parts so that the whole is so much easier and simpler to accomplish.

I think a lot of the time, we as people tend to fix our sights on a goal, and then leave that goal because it seems to big to accomplish. If you just have a goal, and no apparent plan, you will never get there.

You need to break it down. You can’t say I am going to college and it will happen. There are many steps you need to take to get there. Same thing applies to achieving a black belt. Now I am obviously not there yet, but I have been given the assignments to teach me how to actually attain it.

And I think the same would apply to training for the Tiger Challenge next Saturday. I couldn’t possibly just say, yes I am going to compete and then not train. First is the decision in which competitions to enter. Then what to perfom in each of those categories. And then to practice what I have chosen. And with practicing there also needs to be a plan. If I was to enter 6 things, I doubt I would accomplish much by trying to practice all 6 things in one go. Again, one would need to break it down and work on one or two things at a time.

Yes, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out (and I am certainly not a rocket scientist), but I do tend to focus on the big picture and struggle with trying to come up with a plan to get there. I have learned so much at Kung Fu about this, and it is something that I can apply to any goal in my life.

So with that being said, every assignment is a tool. And I have learned not to let them intimidate me, because I can do it. I can achieve anything if I break it down into manageable parts.