A matter of expression

I rediscovered my passion this past weekend with Master McNeill here. Trying new things, which are similar to techniques I already know was really great. I pushed myself, had a great time, and learned so much.

He has a lot of experience, and I believe I saw how martial arts can truly define a person’s life. It is simply a way of life, and learning is a constant. That part truly excites me - I am truly just beginning.

I learned so much about the cane, and I am starting to understand how a weapon needs to be a part of you. It should feel natural in your hands, and to do that, you need to use it, and experiment with it. Meaning that the more you work with a weapon, the more right it will be.

I am really enjoying the cane right now. I am not sure if it is because I find it similar to using my stick, but it feels good. Better now after the seminars this weekend too. Master NcNeill showed us so many ways to utilize the cane, and I am just excited.

I am really looking forward to a lifetime of learning and growing as a martial artist.

Left unsaid.

Some things are best left unsaid. Journalling is a wonderful thing, as it gives us a method to express ourselves, and it can only be seen by ourselves if we wish. It can be a way of letting things out, without any consequences to anyone. It is a way of sorting out your thoughts, so that you can do something with them. It is a healthy way to deal with stress and a great way to help you stay in the moment.

Something happened tonight...

And I didn't appreciate it until now.

I was at the grocery store with my girls, paying for a couple of things in the self checkout, when a male voice approached and asked if he could sing me a song.

I said "Sure, I would like that." and continued with what I was doing. He was obviously a little more special than your average person, and his song was spoken and rushed. I was touched, but a little distracted, and he rushed off before I could thank him.

It struck me tonight, that I was given a gift, and I didn't stop to take the time to truly appreciate it. I wasn't in the moment, and I have no excuse. How many special things do I miss every day because I am not in the moment? How many things am I taking for granted without realizing it?

I need to make a bigger effort to slow down, and breathe in and out, and cherish the gifts that are offered.

Passion in my reality

I have missed several Lion Dance practices lately. I feel some guilt over this, as I have not lost my passion for it. I have simply let my frustration get in the way. I have been learning to Bhudda, which I also really enjoy however again, I still need to be careful with my ankle. I missed an opportunity to Bhudda at the tournament, and that's okay, as there are more chances to come. But I need to get my mental self together, and work through my injuries.

I enjoy the whole art of the dance, and it has been difficult to be sidelined, but I can learn a lot from watching. I have watched the newest members of the team get better each week, and I am glad to be a part of that. It is inspiring to see how far they have come, and they are the kick in the pants that I need.

I am looking forward to getting the Dragon together and learning it. Hopefully soon...

A Poem for my Mother and Daughters

She kissed my hurts away,
And now I will kiss yours.

She chased away the bad dreams,
And I will chase yours.

She baked in the wee hours of the night,
And I will bake for you.

She nurtured me, and does still,
And I will nurture you.

She taught me patience,
And I will teach you.

She laughed with me and cried with me,
And I will laugh and cry with you.

She cheered for me always,
And I will cheer for you.

She challenged me,
And I will challenge you.

She gave me unconditional love,
And I will give you mine.

She loved me before I was born,
And I have always loved you.

I missed out on something, but gained something else.

I missed the tournament on Saturday due to a family in need. Mine. My daughter needed a few fillings, but freaked out at the dentist so we had a visit with a dental surgeon on Friday. She was really brave, and I am so proud of her too.

I feel like I lost out on the tournament. I really wanted to be there, to be a part of the lion dance, to see the kids I teach perform, and to just absorb our school spirit. I am disappointed, but I did gain something from missing it. Maybe two things actually.

First, I gained some precious time with my youngest daughter. She doesn’t need her mommy too often, and I am pretty busy too, so her needing me was not something to turn away from. I experienced joy with her, one on one, and was there with her as she recuperated. I got to think of the great things about having silver teeth to convince her that her smile was still beautiful. I got to cuddle with her on the couch and watch movies while she got over the anesthesia.

Secondly, I gained appreciation for our school spirit and am proud to be a part of it. I missed the tournament, but the spirit was still there when I went to class today. I am a part of something special - my family, and my Kung Fu family.