So Many Places...

I love reading. I have done it since I was a little girl, and I am so happy that my girls are following suit.

I only have two problems with reading that I am trying to overcome but isn’t easy. The first problem, is that I have a very difficult time buying a book for myself. I should probably have a library card so that this is minimalized, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. I should, and will. It is funny though, because it is easy to buy books for my kids. I don’t have to justify anything, I just do it. It is money well spent. But to spend it on myself? No way, jose.

The second problem comes from this. Basically, if I have finally bought a book for myself, then I cannot put it down until I am finished. I find it hard to make a meal, or clean, or do any of the other things I absolutely must do. So I try not to read too often anymore, as it tends to cause a few issues.

Of course, there are a couple of exceptions. I am not into books that make me have to stop, re-read a passage, think about and understand it before I move on. For example, I had a hard time reading Zen and Motorcycle Maintenance. I want to read it again, since the ending made me go “huh?”. However, it is going to take me some time to work up to reading it again. That is just not very enjoyable for me. I also have a tendency to want to buy books that will teach me something, but that always backfires too as I am more easily distracted. I have learned from books, don’t get me wrong, but I definitely prefer to escape in them.

I bought myself a book this weekend, that I have wanted for a while. It has been on sale for a while too, but I only just broke down. Silly huh? It has been hard to put down, no surprises there either.

Anyway, my point, if there is actually one, is that I hope that reading is not something that becomes a thing of the past. There is so much to offer in the written word, and so much to benefit from. Back to my book! (And a trip to the library soon!).

18 Temple Motions

My body doesn't move
the way I wish now.
But I can still breathe,
and feel my chi.

I close my eyes,
inhale deeply.
My mind is clear.
I am ready to begin.

I feel my body,
as is sweeps,
Exhaling the negative
energy out.

Slowly, my body glides
into the next technique,
Knowing what to do on its own,
My mind is disengaged.

I breathe in and out
Slowly,
Rhythmically,
Flowing smoothly.

My stress is now gone,
replaced with peace.
I open my eyes.
Breathe out.
I am new.

Odds and Sods,

I have no idea what to write about today, so here is a few tidbits.

1 - It has been a tumultuous week emotionally. I have been dealing with some personal issues, which has me worn out. But it is all working out, thankfully.

2 - I am frustrated with my ankle and the lack of progress. Not to be a complainer though. I had a bone scan and two fractures were discovered. They are not healing because they keep re-breaking. So now I am in a good brace, and am waiting for an MRI and an appointment with an Orthopedic surgeon. Joy. So much for a sprain! And so much for more Kung Fu. Sigh. I guess patience and progressing wisely definitely comes into play.

3 - I am also filled with anticipation. A Sifu issued a challenge to celebrate her birthday. Writing a poem about being in a form. I can’t wait to see where it takes me. I love poetry, and this challenge really speaks to me. I will have my poem posted very very soon.

4 - I have learned a new form all the way through and I really like it. I have lots to fix, and some adapting to do because of my ankle, but that’s okay. I like it.

5 - Sleep. It has a huge impact on our emotions and the way we handle stress. Watch a child who is over tired, and you will see a cranky 6 year old have a terrible two’s tantrum.

6 - I hate chlorine. I took the girls swimming today, and I am now covered in hives. Bleck.

7 - The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Max

Dear Max,

You have been a great addition to our family. You were so small when you joined us last July. You were only 8 weeks old and you stole our hearts instantly. You had these great big feet, floppy ears, and were so curious.

You joined us at a time when Maya was very afraid of dogs. But it didn’t take very long before both her and Haley were completely in love with you. Although you had these sharp little teeth, you were also cuddly. As you grew, the games you played with the girls grew too.

I have many fond memories of you playing with Haley and Maya. How when they climbed the wood pile, you were always so close as their protector. How you and Maya would either sit side by side on the deck, or cuddle up on the floor. I loved how you would play tug of war with her with whatever big stick you could find.

I have enjoyed watching you play tag with Haley, and play catch with her. You two would always race down the driveway, and when Haley would dive on the ground, you were so gentle as you nosed her to get back up to play some more. It was great the way you tried to help with raking up leaves. Every time one of the girls would lift up the rake to pull off leaves, you were in there helping by grabbing the leaves with your teeth.

I am really going to miss how you greeted me when I got there. You were so determined to climb onto my lap while I was still in the car. You were heavy big guy. A mere 20 pounds less than I. But you were so happy to see me.

I loved watching you play with your pal Oscar. With you being a German Shepherd, and him being a Newfoundland/ St. Bernard cross, he would get so tired playing with you. And it was annoying, but cute how both of you would find a way to get out of the yard to go see each other.

You were such a huge part of our family. This weekend, mom and dad’s house feels so empty without you. I hope you went to a good home, and that you bring them what you brought us. You were truly special, and our hearts were broken when you left. We will always keep you in our hearts Max.

We love you, and miss you very much.

Eep, I feel so exposed...

Living in Spruce Grove has it’s benefits. It also is a smallish place, so running into other students is going to happen. And don’t get me wrong, that isn’t a bad thing. But I am used to being seen as Sifu Wilson (or previously Sihing), not Tania, mom extraordinaire.

Today, while Maya had a playdate, I took Haley swimming at the TLC. I figured it would be good for my ankle, and I could have some one on one time with my oldest daughter. It was fun, except that we hadn’t been in the pool for more than 5 minutes when everyone had to get out, due to contamination. It wasn’t me.

Anyway, I happened to see a parent and his kids from Kung Fu. I nodded in acknowledgement, like I always do, but I felt so exposed. Okay, I was in a bathing suit, and no one I know should ever see me in one. I did happen to run into a Sihing before at the TLC pool, and while it was awkward, it wasn’t like today.

I couldn’t stop agonizing over it. These are people who always see me in a uniform, or in street clothes on the bench. Not mostly bare in a bathing suit. I am a bit worried that their perspective of me may change, but there really isn’t much I can do. I am a mom too.

I am hopeful that they will not think of it again, but I know I will feel somewhat uncomfortable for a little while when I see them.

I don’t mind seeing or being seen by others outside of the Kwoon. And it definitely hit home that what we do outside the school will make a huge impact that we may not even realize. It’s important to continue to conduct myself as I would in the kwoon. I hate to think what a student might think if they saw me scolding my kids in a store. I have to continue to hold myself accountable, and will always strive to make a good impression to those I come in contact with. They could be a student tomorrow.

A is for apple

I went on a course this week at Canada Place. It was something my managers felt myself and two others had to have, but I am not sure how I can apply this new found information. It was actually a fairly boring class, with a couple of people who obviously felt they were too important to be on time and left for hours at a time to take care of things at work. I am not against taking care of things, however if you cannot attend a course for 4 days without interruptions, maybe you should’ve stayed at work.

I know I got fairly irritated this week, when this one particular person was always gone, on her blackberry, or just late. She was in my group for our ongoing assignments, and it was hard for me to a) take her seriously and b) consider her opinions. I put an effort into this course, even though I was somewhat bored. I tried my best to respect everyone around me. I learned a lot about other Government departments, and gathered information that does have some benefit.

Personally, I think if you are taking the time of your instructor and fellow classmates, then you should give it all you have. Your full attention, your focus, and your input. This applies to Kung Fu as well.

If a person goes to class, but decides to talk, and misses some important step or information, how does that affect everyone around them? I know I get distracted when someone talks, and it affects my focus. And why should an instructor have to repeat themselves?

If a person is always late, then how it is perceived? Is it respectful to everyone around them? They don’t seem to care about anyone else, and it is difficult to earn anyone’s respect.

My lesson this week, was the importance of respecting your instructors and fellow classmates time and skill. A person cannot advance if you are not humble enough to accept what is being taught, and to be fully engaged in what you are learning.