A lesson learned

Oh, where to start. I had a blog written in my head as I was trying to sleep on Friday night, but alas, it's gone now. I waited too long, and maybe next time I should just get up and write my thoughts down before they sail away.

Anyway, I hope I can articulate my thoughts here. I had the opportunity to attend a Gossip and Slander seminar thing at work on Friday and it was better than I expected. ( I call it a seminar thing because I think it was supposed to be a workshop, but it was more of a talk than anything). I dint have any expectations when I went in, and sometimes that's the best way to experience something. You don't have any preconceived notions or opinions to interfere. You have an open mind, and that is a wonderful thing.

One of the points the speaker said, was that every day, every moment we are changing the world around us. It might be good or bad, but it's happening whether we are aware or not. He also mentioned that we have a tendency to label people, and we forget that they have names and are special to someone. Who are we to minimize that?

This talk really got me thinking about our acts of kindness and the impact they really have. It's a small positive difference, but it is twofold. The receiver feels good, and the giver feels even better. One small thing, can change the world. And another thing, is just how big of an impact our words can leave. Good or bad. I am going to leave you with Socrates Test of Three.

Legend says that one day the great philosopher came upon a young man who ran up to him excitedly and said:

"Socrates, do you know what I heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Test of three?"

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test of is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," said the man. "Actually I just heard about it."

"Alright," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

So," Socrates continued. "You want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued." You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the test of usefulness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well " concluded Socrates, if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed, left.

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Back to square one

I had the pleasure Friday night of having my 3 year old nephew over for a sleepover. It's been a while since mine were that young, and I didn't realize how much my family has evolved over the years. He was into everything when I thought we had "child-proofed" my place. Definitely an eye opener for me. But don't get me wrong, I loved having him over, and will do it again.

This brought me back to my training. Sometimes I forget what being a white belt was like. Everything is new and exciting, and there is so much to learn. Now, I mostly find myself focussing with my eye for detail, on the minute things, and forget what it was like to start fresh. It's a completely different mentality now than as a white belt.

There are so many techniques that I take for granted. I don't have to think about them, I just do. I need to find a way to keep that white belt frame of mind in front of me more often. Learning Kung Fu is a gift, and an even bigger one is learning at Silent River. The best second family ever! And the cool thing is, that family is always evolving too. With promotions, and new faces, it's a place that I take comfort in, and I appreciate all those who enter.

 

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Time

Finding the balance between, work, family, Kung Fu and me time, can be challenging sometimes. Only sometimes though, as me time tends to include Kung Fu and family. It's interesting how Kung fu is both something we share as a family, and it's also something just for me.

I am on my own unique journey, and yet I share it with my family and my Kung Fu family, so I am never alone. I am blessed to be where I am right now, and to have so many like minded and amazing people around me. If I look back to when I first started, I didn't imagine where my life would lead, or how much it would change for the better.

I have ups and downs, as we all do, or maybe it's more like hills and valleys, and finding that straight line can be hard at times. But the key is to never give up, reach out for support, and smile at your heart as often as you can.

Have you ever sat on the grass, closed your eyes with your face at the sky, and just felt the sun shining it's warmth on you? For me, that makes me smile, inside and out. It feels like a warm embrace, which helps me find my centre, and to move forward.

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Warm fuzzier and such

Saturday was really great. The energy from the crowd at the parade was very positive, and then the time together at Mr. Duncan's was truly great. I'm not usually one for big get together's, but this was very comfortable for me. You guys are awesome..

I do however, need to learn more about anxiety and the need to keep it front of me all the time. It can very easily turn your thoughts into a runaway train, which is very difficult to stop. Triggers aren't necessarily explainable, and putting those thoughts into words can be really hard. Then guilt can creep in, because a person may be very aware that their response doesn't make sense, but yet they can't control it. It then becomes a cycle, that has to run its course until the pressure dissipates, and things slow down again.

Dealing with someone who suffers from anxiety requires compassion and empathy. We need to remind ourselves that for the person with anxiety, it's a challenge they are faced with everyday. It's a mental illness and we need to have their trust that we aren't passing judgment. That it's ok, and we support them.

I think that at SRKF, we have an environment that supports those with anxiety, so it's a very safe place to try to push yourself without any consequences.

 

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What am I?

What is a martial artist? It is someone who understands mastery is the journey itself, not its destination. A martial artist is someone whose values reflect that of their journey, and who is accountable for their actions. One core value is empathy. Understanding your opponent and the surroundings. Making decisions that are based in compassion, and using that compassion to breed more empathy in those around us. Another value is the eye for detail. Recognizing the small intricacies that need improvement, and not accepting mediocrity. A martial artist has passion, that is reflected in their soul. It shines, and inspires. They have discipline which is evident in their successes and their failures. But failure, is simply the process to success. With discipline comes consistent effort, which will become success at some point. A martial artist is someone who is a leader, whether it's by example or through their charisma. A martial artist values humility. The recognition that one always has room for improvement, and someone who can see the lessons in front of them.

 

I am not a martial artist yet, but am on that path. I have yet to achieve mastery, but will always reach for that goal.

 

As a mother on the path to mastery, I lead by example for my children, and through charisma. They see my actions, and through those actions, I can teach them to be the best they can be.

 

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It's mine

I'd like to thank everyone who gave me support and encouragement a little while ago. It helped a lot in taking the step and going through with the interview process for the job I applied for.

It was officially offered to me on Friday, and I accepted. That in itself felt strange. It's not something I really ever thought would happen. I mean, at first I applied more to see what would happen, and then when I got the interview, I almost cancelled. It wasn't until I was told that I was being considered that I realized I had made it, and I didn't fail as badly as I thought. It is the right decision, to accept this position and take on some new challenges.

It reminded me of my black belt grading. Except that I really wanted to pass. I had a lot of stress leading up to it, but I practiced hard, and lived and breathed Kung Fu. (Still do). I remember thinking that no matter what happened I knew I did my best, and that if my best wasn't good enough, I would have to practice harder for the next time. But I did pass. And it's an experience I will never forget.

 

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Self defence

What is self defence? Is it the ability to fight back when you need to? Is it the ability to deflect a situation that has the potential to get ugly? Is it eating right, and taking care of your body and your mind?

I think its all these things. But I think what we tend to forget, is that it's best not to get into a bad situation in the first place. Walking alone at night in a back alley, or on a deserted street is not a good idea. It might seem like a good idea at first glance, since there isn't anyone around to hurt you. But if you think about it deeper, there won't be anyone around to hear you scream, or save you.

Travel in packs, take the busy street home, have a charged cell phone. Look at suspicious people in the eye, letting them know you see them. Try to stay calm, and make as much noise as you have to.

Today, I witnessed an accident, but the guy who got hit, was in an extreme rage. He scared me, and what someone can do to a person in that state scares me more. So I left, as there was at least one person among many who witnessed it who got out to assist. I felt a lot of guilt for leaving a scene, but if I don't feel safe, chances are high that I'm not. I have to take care of myself in order to take care of my family. And that means avoiding situations that could be dangerous.

That was my first line of self defence today.

 

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