Honesty

I'm not very good at being honest with myself, and it leads to problems. I am aware that I avoid confrontation, and I try to avoid hurting anyone. However, it hurts others when I am not honest with myself. And really, it hurts me too.

 

So how do I fix this? I'm thinking I have to stay mindful of my emotions and thoughts and I have to learn awareness for when for when my actions don't match my words. That's hard as I seem to become aware after the damage is done.

 

I'm a black belt. How the heck did I get here if I am not always honest with myself? I can say it was a challenging path - worth it though. I know I recognize when I compare myself to others, and I can take responsibility for those times when I don't think I am good enough. I have to ask why? And the answer is simple - I am not trying hard enough, or training enough. The onus is on me. As is getting help when I need it. I am responsible to ask. I am responsible to look in the mirror and face the answer honestly.

 

I need to work on being more in tune with my thoughts and therefore my actions. If I find an excuse as to why my forms or techniques aren't good enough, then I am not being honest with myself. Either it isn't a big enough priority or I just didn't care enough. I alone am responsible.

 

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