This little piggy...

My training has taken on new intensity lately, which can be a little scary what with the injuries I seem to be prone to. A recurrent rib injury from 2 1/2 years ago, rib and knee injuries from 5 weeks ago, and the latest - a broken baby toe this past Friday night in class.

So my little piggy is taped up to her buddy beside her, and hopefully will be mostly better by Saturday. Fingers crossed.

I had another snag on Saturday besides my little piggy. I was practicing my 5 techniques, and realized that two of them have become one. I simply changed the 5th one, so I am good again, but I am worried. How come, when I have been practicing it one way for a few months, that all of a sudden my body is doing something different? What the heck? At least it happened yesterday instead of during the grading. That would have been awkward to say the least.

I got through the pre-grading and learned a lot about myself. I don’t feel I performed at my best, as I was full of nerves and my legs couldn’t stop shaking. But I did good in my opinion, and can breath with that part over. It was a good warm up for this Saturday, although I can already feel the pressure and stress. Stress builds character right? Funny thing though - I was so wired after the pre-grading, that I couldn’t sleep. So Thursday night, I managed to find 3 hours of sleep. I am hoping that I just pass out this Saturday. I will more than likely be absolutely exhausted after, so that’s a good thing.

It feels good to have the support of my family, friends, and fellow students. I have fought cyclical depression for a long time, and I crashed hard yesterday. I have taken all the necessary steps to try to control it in preperation for Saturday, but it wasn’t enough. However, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without all the support I have received. It is easy for me to lose my way, and not believe in myself and my abilities when I am in this place. But it’s important to pick myself up, and keep pushing. If I hadn’t, and given up a long time ago, I wouldn’t have accomplished what I have so far in life.

I am thankful for my kids - who have always cheered me on. They have this unshakable belief in me which has pushed me beyond what I thought possible. I am thankful for my parents who have gone above and beyond to help me get this far. I am thankful for my best friend, who has always been proud of me. And I am thankful for my fellow students who continue to inspire me to push harder. So if next week doesn’t go as well as I plan, I am proud of how far I have come. I am a different person than I was when I started Kung Fu. It has been an amazing journey so far, and I am looking forward to all the rest to come.

And in a moment of self pity - my poor baby toe!