This is it.

I have written my letter to Mother Earth and posted it on my project blog - you can see it from my links. Last night was Earth Hour, and from what I have read, it was a relative success. The following statistic was in an article on CBC.
"The Thai branch of the WWF said the campaign in Bangkok reduced the load on the electrical system by 73.34 megawatts and cut carbon dioxide emissions by 41.6 tons."

Can you imagine that? 41 tons of carbon dioxide in one hour. It amazes me. We live in a world today that is all about excess. We can never seem to have enough. We are never satisfied, and so continue to destroy everything around us.

My daughter drew a picture/ map the other day on what she wanted for her farm when she grew up. I felt so sad because I don't know that the land will be there for her, let alone be sustainable for a couple of little crops and all her future lizards.

While I am doing what I can, and there is still so much more that I can do for our planet, it isn't enough. So I am trying to raise more awareness. On one hand, I would like to hide in my bubble and pretend that everything is okay, I just can't anymore. The state of our world today, with it's wars and it's destruction, just makes me sad. Some would say it's just a cycle, that global warming isn't really happening, as it happened a long time ago too. But my point is, I want the very best for my kids.

This isn't where I was going to go with this today. Actually I had no idea what was going to come out of blogging, and just figured that I would see where this proverbial pen took me.

I argued with my dad last night over this Earth Hour thing. I don't debate well in person and am not sure I made a difference in what I said to him. However, I hope I gave him food for thought. And that is my whole approach with my project. I just want all of us to at least think about what we do and how we do it. So much is taken for granted.

One of the things I used to love as a kid, was to run around in the grass without shoes, catching bugs and just being a kid. My kids don't really have that anymore. Who knows what garbage or glass is hidden, or what diseases the insects are carrying. I am not comfortable leaving them outside without direct supervision because of all the dangers that lurk. Now maybe these were all there all those years ago, and perhaps we just have so much more awareness of all the evils out there. But I used to go outside after breakfast and come back when I was hungry. I would be gone all day!

It is a very different world today, and I can't say if it is that we just have more awareness now. But I want more for my kids, and their kids. Every small gesture can have a huge impact, I truly believe that.

Whew.

Courage to Change

I have been thinking about change, and how important it is to maintain a routine and structure. Not to mention the courage it takes to face the change and all of the unknowns that come with it.

We are going through a change as a family. Not a big one to most people, but change in our house is not one to go without stress. My girls are going to a new daycare/ out of school care starting April 1st. It will simplify things for me, and clear up a couple of other major issues that have risen.

However, my girls don’t handle change well. And to a point, neither do I. They get pretty stressed, but being so young, do not have the same abilities to deal with it. Both have had amazing meltdowns/ breakdowns over the last week. And I am not sleeping well, knowing what is coming. Don’t get me wrong, I am not looking for sympathy. I just want to provide some background.

The only thing changing is the daycares. They will go on the same bus, go to the same school, and go to Kung Fu twice a week. The only change that they have to deal with, is new kids before and after school.

I truly believe that kids need routine and structure. As an adult, I still need that. There is comfort in continuity. I have always seen Kung Fu as a place that is safe from bullying and from criticism. It is an amazing place for any child to grow, and to develop the self confidence they need to succeed. There is no winning or losing there, as you only compete against yourself. You gain when you push yourself, and you stay in one place if you don’t.

I realized this week, that my girls, and all students for that matter get a great sense of routine and structure which is vital to transitioning through change. The same instructors teach the classes, so the kids aren’t faced with someone they don’t really know or trust yet. The classes are at the same time, on the same days. And most of the kids are there all the time as classmates. They have that continuity and the structure of the classes to give them focus. The kids can leave all their worries at the door, and just be safe and secure. The classes provide structure and set rules as to what to expect. There is always a beginning (warm up), and middle ( the class), and an end (bowing out). Routine and structure give kids/ students something to depend on. It provides a sense of calm and control, and can relieve stress and anxiety.

Now I say this, and am also aware that my youngest had the most amazing meltdown after her class this past Thursday. I know it will happen, and no matter the routine it will continue to happen. However, I can only imagine how much worse it could be if we didn’t have the routine and structure in place.

And lastly, I know I am babbling, I am thankful for the understanding from all the instructors at Silent River Kung Fu. We want our kids to be on their best behavior all the time, and it can be hard to accept the fact that they have to deal with their stress somehow. I hope I am not judged on my parenting, and that my girls will continue to get stronger mentally. The big change happens in a little over a week. Wish us luck!

Project Earth Day - The Lorax

I found myself in Chapters the other night, and came across a Dr. Seuss book I have not had the pleasure of reading. It’s called “The Lorax”. It was written about 40 years ago, and addresses the state of our environment and what happens when we disregard it in search of fulfilling our greed. It was an amazing read. I noticed that it was printed on recycled paper, and is actually being used as a tool for Earth Day, which is April 22nd.

After reading it to my girls, I found myself very inspired. They asked questions about it, such as, why would he cut down the whole forest? Where will the animals go? What will they eat?

We live in a world, where our resources are disappearing. And we end up with leaders that tell us they have a plan, but won’t be ready to tackle it until 2050. That is way too late. So while I realize I cannot change the state of the world’s environment, which sustains us, I can make a start.

I am starting a project, which I would like to complete by April 22nd, Earth Day. Here is what I propose.

1) I want to encourage reading this book. It is full of great rhyming, and has an amazing message. Buy it, borrow it, read it at the library. I highly recommend it.
2) I would like each student in Silent River Kung Fu, and any friends they have, to write a letter to Mother Earth, saying what they can do to help save her. Pictures are great too.
3) I want to publish them on a blog, for the world to see our message. In doing so, I think we can raise a lot of awareness towards our environment, and together we can make a difference.
4) I will have some pre-printed standard letters available at the front counter, but will accept any medium for this project. I encourage the use of recycling paper for it - used wrapping paper, or the back of “garbage” printouts. Whatever you wish, but let’s try to be environmentally friendly.
5) I am also hoping to gather some tips, and put them into a guide book of sorts. Again online, so that we can access ideas to put into use.
6) When you have your letters finished, leave them at Silent River Kung Fu, and I will collect them.

That's it for today. I look forward to reading the letters!!!

My Crazy Perspective

So here I am, with about a gazillion thoughts screaming through my head. I am presently worried about a number of things, all of which I have to tackle one step at a time. I tend to worry about the outcomes way before all of the facts are presented, and I always seem to undermine myself and my abilities to cope. I worry about how others see me, and what thoughts go through their heads when I am dealing with a crisis. Whether I am dealing with my kids, or with an issue at work, the worry is always there.

I have a new one. I guess I do have to keep it in perspective but it hit me on Friday. For the past few years, the goal of black belt has seemed quite far off. In a way it still does. I have so much left to learn, and I am filled with doubt as to how I am possibly going to pass. I realized Friday after class, just how close my goal is. I also realized that I will NOT go back, that I have worked hard to get where I am. I have a way of forgetting just how far I have come.

We did sparring drills in class. I have always had issues with sparring and it stems from my very first sparring class as an orange belt. Anyway, I haven't done much sparring over the last couple years, mostly due to a rib injury incurred while sparring. Thankfully this did not have an effect on my training mentally. I don't think. I felt an anxiety attack coming when we were told to gear up. However, SIfu Freitag came in, told me it was just drills, but to wear my chest gear anyway. Ha Ha. For those who haven't had the pleasure of seeing this, I look like a pink power ranger with it all on.

My point is, I got through it. I managed to calm my mind, and kept my focus on the task at hand. I didn't allow the "I can't do this" attitude to come through, and instead told myself, that "I can". And I did. I am not naive enough to think that this is it, that I have gotten through my issues. But I did realize that I have a long ways to go in a short amount of time. And if I keep my journey in front of me, I know this is something I can accomplish. Six months to grading isn't that far away.

I have my pushup assignment to help keep me focused on progress, and it should help me get stronger. Granted, I can only do girly pushups (due to my rib injury) and not many at one time. If I can keep my perspective on my goal from getting too crazy, and if I can keep my focus on the task at hand, attaining my goal is more than just possible. I can do it, and I will.

(On a side note, I received a compliment from a fellow classmate on Friday and it went a long way. It's amazing how a few simple words can make such a huge difference.)

(On yet another side note, I really appreciate the patience and support from the instructors with overcoming my injury - both mental and physical. This is truly an amazing place to train.)

Choices and Attitudes

We all make conscious choices, and from my perspective, they are influenced by our attitudes.

If I have a positive attitude, and am presented with an idea, I can weigh the pros and cons, and make a choice that makes me feel good. If I have a more negative attitude about something, say I have already made up my mind before I have all the facts, I am not going to reap any benefits from this idea and cannot open myself to possibilities.

We are faced with choices each and every day. We choose to be positive or negative, and we choose how events or challenges are going to affect us. And these choices stick with us. We choose to accept our lots in life, or we choose to try to make a change or a difference. I honestly believe that our attitudes are our choices influence each other. Adjust a negative attitude, and different choices are made.

We also choose to see the negatives or the positives in a situation. Someone who has a more positive attitude about life in general is going to be the person trying to see the positives in any given moment. A negative attitude however, will not see the positives nor will they try.

Take for example a few people I work with. One has Turner’s Syndrome. She is 24 and is only 4’7”. But she is the tallest person I know. She has the most positive attitude, and her height does not even occur to her. She never complains - I mean never. I have worked with her for a year and a half now, and not once have I heard her complain about the disadvantages of her height. No tall shelf slows her down, and buying a car is more challenging for her, but it doesn’t even occur to her let it slow her down. She has accepted her lot in life, and is making the best of it, each and every day.

Another example is a girl I work with who has Cerebral Palsy. It isn’t as severe as it could have been, but she is challenged. The muscles in her right side are much weaker, so that she cannot really hold anything with her right hand, and she has a slight gait to her walk. But it doesn’t really slow her down either. She had her car fitted with a couple of devices to allow her to be independent, (her gas pedal is on the left side). She types and mouses with her left hand only. But, she carries boxes all the time, and is always walking. She refused the handicapped sticker for her car, and lives her life to it’s fullest. And she has the biggest heart I have ever met.

But on the other side of the fence, I also work with two deaf girls. And both have a “woe is me” attitude. One is also diabetic but doesn’t take care of it. She eats a tonne of sweets all the time, while complaining that it wasn’t made with Splenda. She now has foot problems due to the diabetes, but it is an excuse for her to only do desk work. She can walk down the hall to my desk a dozen times in a day, but to ask her to do some filing, and it’s “Oh, well my feet hurt, I can’t”. She is a nice lady, but it frustrates me because she has such a negative attitude. Everyone else is expected to accommodate her, and when we don’t, we are obviously all out to get her.

My point is that our attitude has a huge impact on our daily lives. Take a negative attitude and put in into Kung Fu. You will have a student who simply expects to be given a stripe or a promotion to a higher belt. This student will complain when someone else surpasses them, because they have been there longer. I hope that students like this, can learn to understand, that Kung Fu is a personal journey. You cannot compare yourself to another.

Same goes for our assignments in class. I admit, that sometimes I don’t feel good enough, and that it is all in my attitude. I have to take a step back and realize that I worked hard to get where I am, and usually once I see the journey I have been on, and my past accomplishments, then my attitude improves.

If we make a choice, and go against our attitude, I am sure that it will have a ripple effect. I could be wrong, but I know that when my attitude is on the sucky side, and I choose to go to class, when I don’t feel good enough, my attitude is always better when I leave.

Just a few thoughts for a cold, but sunny day. Spring is coming, I know it, it’s inevitable!