Lately, I have been finding myself reflecting on my journey as a parent and a student in Kung Fu. I had been training for about a year when I enrolled my oldest in the Lil Leopards class, and then my youngest joined a couple of years after that.
I would love to say that they loved Kung Fu through the years and that I never had any problems with them, but that would be a lie. I don’t recall exactly when they started wanting to quit, or when they started to tell me they didn’t want to go, but I knew quitting wasn’t going to be an option for them.
I remember having to push my youngest through the Kwoon door, making eye contact with an instructor so they knew she was there because if I went in with her, she wasn’t going to participate. I recall days when I had to bring them kicking and screaming to the car when it was time to go, but still going anyway. It was hard. And heartbreaking. And I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to quit bringing them just so I didn’t have to deal with the tantrums and protesting.
But there were more times than not that they did want to go. And as they grew older they started to recognize the benefits. My oldest gained confidence in dealing with other kids, and my youngest gained confidence in making her own decisions. I watched them as they earned their 2nd and 3rd degree brown belts and move to the adult class.
My biggest regret though, and one I wish I could do over was to let them quit. I should’ve made quitting an option after they got their black belts, but I let them quit once they earned their 2nd degree brown. There were a couple of health factors that were in the decision to quit, however in hindsight, getting their black belts with the extra challenges would’ve brought them greater confidence in themselves as young adults.
I can’t change the past, nor the decisions I made for them. I wish I didn’t have to cry and fight with them to get them to class, but I do know now, that even though a black belt wasn’t what they wanted, they are still better now for their training. They haven’t quit things they started - my oldest hated University during the first year, but kept going anyway. My youngest has gained the tenacity to go after what she wants, and not what her friends want. They have grown into amazing young adults and I credit Kung Fu for a lot of it.
I don’t regret enrolling them in Kung Fu. And I don’t regret the fights we had to get them there, as they were necessary at the time. I cherish the times we had training together, and learning to grapple with them was a lot of fun. The headaches, the stress, the heartache were all worth it in the end. I guess my point is, that even though they didn’t want to go all the time, and it caused fights between us, not quitting Kung Fu has molded them into the compassionate and kind adults they are. And I have come away with understanding of all the parents out there that have to deal with the same issues. Please keep pushing them to come to class, even when it’s easier to give in. The benefits to your kids are a huge reward to the world.
