Monday, June 13, 2016

Bullying

Bullying isn't just for kids; it happens to adults too. So why does this happen? Generally speaking, bullies treat others poorly in order to feel better themselves. They need a sense of power over another person. It can be a learned behaviour, if they are bullied or witness it at home. By making someone feel less than you, you are attempting to put yourself in a better light.

Bullies attack physically and mentally, and now with social media have a scary outlet online. Online, it spreads like wildfire and there isn't any way to take it back.

Physical bullying is obvious. Pushing, shoving, beating someone up. Taking or damaging their things. Exclusion can also be seen as bullying. Not including someone in activities, and purposely avoiding them.

Mental bullying is a little different but the results are the same. Calling someone names, yelling at them and telling them things to make them feel bad about themselves. It can also be belittling behaviour where a person is called out in a negative way in front of other people.

Then of course, there is cyber bullying. Social media is a beast for this. A single click of a button can spread vexatious and mean, hurtful things in an instant. These posts are recycled over and over, and are next to impossible to stop. It takes one person only a few seconds to do major damage.

So what do we do?

Confidence. When we can walk with confidence, our heads held high, we naturally discourage bullies. They do not want to engage someone who will be difficult to intimidate. How do you get confidence? Some people naturally have more confidence, and don't have to work at it. For those of us without, we need to work at it. Martial arts play a huge part in gaining confidence. Many small achievements that add up to big things create feeling of accomplishment and I "can do" attitude. And the more you accomplish, the more self confidence you will gain. Of course, these small accomplishments require consistent practice. But the results don't take long to see. As you gain confidence, it is possible to look a bully in the eye, which instantly discourages them.

Another thing is not to be alone. When you can be singled out, your chances of being bullied are higher. So, stay with a friend. Educate yourself and talk about it often. Talk with your friends, with your parents and other adults you trust.

Tell a bully to stop. Stay calm and try not to show you are upset. Try to respond to the person bullying you without anger. Anger can make things worse. If you are in a position that prevents you from telling them yourself, then you need to tell someone who can. Bullying can have a lifelong effect, and the damage it causes can be very difficult to overcome. There are many deaths by suicide due to bullying, so it is a very, very serious matter.

Stand up for each other. Bullying is never ok. Be aware of what you post on social media. It might seem funny, but it could really hurt someone and you can NEVER take that back. It might seem innocent, but to someone else it won't be. Be careful with what you share. It can come back to bite you. The thing with bullying is that it can have lasting effects.

 

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