Energy Release

Sometimes I question myself as to when my energy should be released when I finish a technique in Tai Chi.  And it’s because I am not feeling it.  Am I not feeling it because I am not fully grounded or am I not feeling it because I have not made that tiny adjustment that needs to be made?

A second set of eyes is always helpful when you are in doubt.  For the most part, I can figure it out when something feels off or just not quite right.  And it’s usually because I am either rushing or am not quite grounded anymore.  

So lately, instead of going through either the individual parts of the forms, like part 2 or part 1, or the whole of the short form, I have found myself focusing on a few very individual parts that I have noticed aren’t quite right for me.  I had the blessing of meeting with Sifu Dennis on Friday and she was able to make a tiny adjustment that made the difference for me.  I am grateful for that as I am unable to attend classes right now.  There are still some pieces that I am working on and I am looking forward to feeling the release of energy once I have them figured out for myself.

Numbers YTD

Modified Push Ups 3735

Tai Chi Part 2 4

Tai Chi Short Form 9

Tai Chi Part 4 1

Tai Chi Push Hands 1

Healing

This may sound strange, but Tai Chi is healing for me.  It soothes my soul, it nourishes my psyche, it points out parts of my body that need attention.  I notice old injuries and new ones and it allows me to make adjustments and to focus on those parts while I move.  I can focus my energy on my physical body and feel it heal.  

Tai Chi calms me.  It uplifts me.  It brings me back to myself.  

An issue arises however when I forget to bring my awareness to my techniques and am only focusing on how I am feeling.  Bad habits creep in and when you have done something for a long time wrong it feels right.  But upon close inspection it actually doesn’t feel right, I have just fooled myself into thinking it was feeling right.  So to address that I need someone else to witness my forms, to see where my chi is or is not being released.  Then I can work on those areas.

A small tweak in my technique is often all it takes to take it to the next level and to feel things move correctly again.  I am fortunate to have some amazing mentors to witness my journey and to help me notice when I am missing something.  I do need to work more on noticing these things in myself however.  I am striving to be less dependent on them so that I may grow more.  

Questions are good.  I should be asking them.  I should ask myself and I should try to answer myself before I check in with my mentors.  I know more than I think I know.  

Numbers

Modified Push Ups - 1480

Tai Chi Short Form - 6

Tai Chi Part 2 - 1

Tai Chi Push Hands - 1

Not Something New

I have toyed with the idea of expanding my Tai Chi horizon, but then I look at what I do know, and how much there still is to learn within those forms and there is no point in really going forward with something new. There are minute tweaks that make a huge difference to my technique and to how I feel my chi.

I practice sometimes and notice that I am moving a foot to adjust to a transition that I haven’t noticed in the past.  That alone opens up questions about other transitions and how my chi flows from one stance to another.

I have been training in Kung Fu for 23 years and Tai Chi for 17 years.  I feel I know a lot, but there is still so much more that I hope to learn in the future.  However, training without mindfulness will not allow me to learn or address any issues that I may have.  Bad habits creep in unknowingly when injuries happen, or even when space constraints force adjustments.  Those need to be noticed and addressed.

I do feel at home with Tai Chi.  I have been blessed to learn under a Master who has infinite patience and knowledge to impart.  While I cannot be at the school right now to practice with my peers, I am keeping up with the form at home.  I stay at their pace, I practice the short form and the Tai Chi Broadsword.  

I have learned a lot, and there is so much more.