I AM…Exuberant

 

I am exuberant when I approach things that I am passionate about. Sometimes it is external, and other times it’s internal. 

My exuberance allows me to put my whole self into my teaching, particularly the kids classes. However, internally, I feel it while doing Tai Chi, painting, creating and spending time with my family. It translates to amazing experiences travelling with my husband, where we have explored unencumbered.

Tai Chi principles

 

I have started reading into the history of Tai Chi and came upon this quote: “If your practice does not follow Taiji principles, your practice cannot be said to be Taijiquan at all no matter what movements are performed.” ( pg. 21 of the Taijiquan Classics  by Zhang Yun, David Ho, Peter Capellini, Susan Darley)

This has really stayed with me, and has me evaluating my practice.  I keep asking myself, what is my practice?  And if I am not consistently practicing, then can I even begin to say that I remotely understand what the Taiji principles are?  I know that I cannot really define my practice, and I don’t practice my Tai Chi every day, so how can I understand the principles?  What I do know however, is that I am curious, and I am going to delve deeper into my Tai Chi practice.  How do I do this?  I practice every day.   I will be mindful during this moving meditation. I will study the text and the history and strive for understanding.

Vocabulary

 

Vocabulary. We use words and phrases all day every day without a lot of thought, and last week, with some reflection I realized that my Kung Fu vocabulary needs expanding.  I’m confident when it comes to teaching the preschool and young dragon classes, but I don’t think that same vocabulary serves me very well when it comes to teaching adults. 

It’s no secret that I have always felt more comfortable teaching kids, and working with adults is something I am working on. I have the opportunity to do this and this brings me to learning to modulate my teaching towards my audience.  The only way for me to improve is to do, not simply observe.  With practice, I will get better at expressing the lessons I am sharing.  With practice, my ideas with form more defined shapes.  With practice, it will get easier.  

Repetition

 

Recently, I decided to sit down and fold cranes.  It has been around 2 years(?) since I have folded any, but didn’t think much of it, until I actually started to try to fold one.  I was completely stuck about 1/3 of the way in.  I had no clue what fold came next, and unfolding an old crane I had done did very little to help me.

My husband ended up showing me ( somehow things are etched in his brain forever ,while mine is like sand in an hourglass), and after a few tries I had it again.  So what does this illustrate?  My lack of practicing led to a loss of knowledge.  Repetition is key, and not once in a while either.  In order for me to keep this, I am going to need to fold a few every so often (few times a month at the bare minimum).  

The same goes for Kung Fu.  I know that there are forms that are either really, really dusty or just gone (the gone ones are the forms that I created for the I Ho Chuan and then never really practiced again when the new year would roll in).  So, there is a lot of truth in the adage “If you don’t use it, you lose it.”

Time

 

I had the opportunity to have lunch with my husbands aunt last week and I am so grateful for it.  I grew up with only my immediate family, so having this extended family is something I appreciate.  It struck me after, how easy it is to take people and opportunities for granted. My dad lives next door, but I know that I don’t make the effort to visit that I should.  I know that I take my husband and kids for granted too and I am making an effort to practice daily gratitude for them.  And I also take my Kung Fu for granted.

There have been many times that I have not felt like training, so I put it off, knowing that I can just do it later.  My Kung Fu isn’t going anywhere right?  That’s where I am so, so wrong.  My body isn’t getting younger, and I have some permanent challenges.  So why am I wasting time putting of practicing?  I could make a thousand excuses, wrap them up in transparent reasons, and tell myself that it‘s fine. 

Last week’s lunch reminded me that time is finite.  I only have so much time left that my body will allow me to train in a meaningful way (to me).  I need to train when I don’t want to train, I need to show up when I don’t want to show up.  I will practice gratitude for the time and opportunities that I have had with Kung Fu, and gratitude for the continued opportunities to train. 

Hello, pain.

 

Hello pain. I see you and I acknowledge you. In fact, I am smiling at you right now. You have been a companion of mine in more ways than one for a long time; in some instances you have come and gone, only to be replaced by another friend and in others you are a constant.

But you don’t frustrate me anymore. I accept you, and I try to work around you as much as I can. I am working to strengthen my body, so we can have more freedom from each other, but I do know that we will be together for a very long time.

You have changed the way I approach my life, and for anyone who knows me, I have never been adverse to change. I just breathe, smile, and carry on.

You have helped me to appreciate the days when we take a break from each other and I don’t feel your presence. Although maybe I miss you too much those days since I always do too much and you make me very aware of your return.

I remember a couple of weeks ago, I didn’t feel you near, and I crawled around and wiggled with my preschool class on the floor. And yet less than 30 minutes later you made yourself known, and that’s when I knew I had made peace with you. I recognized you, and instead of being frustrated for being unable to practice Tai Chi, I just smiled and carried on.

Thank you, for helping me grow.

 

Swing, badabada

 

Repetition. We say that a lot, don’t we? In order to improve in anything, or to see any improvement in a technique we need to complete thousands of repetitions. And I’m not kidding about that.

Last week I went golfing for the first time. We went to the driving range first and then 2 days later hit the golf course. Now, I was reminded of what it feels like to be a beginner, and it brought me back to my first while at Kung Fu. It looks like it should be fairly easy/ simple, but nope. Not even a little. There are more moving parts then you can imagine and having to have them all work together but separately is challenging. In the beginning. I know that every repetition will bring me closer to improvement. It’s going to take time, and several steps backwards with every step forward. And many lost balls.

But that’s ok. I am having fun learning something new, although my back is not as happy as I am. Shrug. One thing I do have to keep reminding myself of though, is that I am a beginner, and that I don’t need to worry about the guys behind me on the course, or beside me at the range. I cannot compare myself to them. I have to zero in on my little world, and compare myself to myself, and use my eye for detail in order to improve.

And I can definitely thank Kung Fu for this. Kung Fu has taught me that anything worthwhile will take time, it will take more repetitions than I can every count, and that if I develop my eye for detail, I will get better.