A short one

I was reflecting tonight, and it is wonderful to be around so many like minded people. It's like being home. It's always an amazing feeling to share experiences with my fellow students. The demo Saturday was fantastic and left me with a warm feeling. This crane project is doing much more for me emotionally than I expected. I feel it has brought us together more on a more mental level, and has also given me a new reason to celebrate everyone. That sounds cheesy, but it's true. With every crane that I string, I feel the presence of someone unique. We all have things we are good at, and things that we need to work on. We have different ways of doing things to achieve the same goal. We are individuals moving towards a common goal on different paths. (My apologies if this is not very coherent, just my thoughts moving around in my head.)

 

 

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Cranes for peace

I started folding cranes many years ago. We had a 1000 crane project back then and folding them is something that stuck with me. Folding cranes made me feel peaceful while I worked. The process of emptying my mind, and focusing on just that one thing soothed my soul, and relieved stress.

This project speaks to me on a few levels. First, the sense of peace within. How do we spread peace if we don't feel it inside? An important phrase in our kwoon is Lu Ping An - walking in peace and harmony. For me, it means that when my body and soul feel peace, then it will spread from me to the people around me, and then to the world. Peace for all beings, for all plants. I don't always feel peaceful, but folding cranes provides me with a great tool to achieve that.

This project also speaks to me as a way to show the world that the way to peace isn't with fighting or hurting each other, or condemning each other. It's a non verbal way of expressing my values.

If you aren't familiar with the story of Sadako Sasaki I encourage you to read it. Basically, this project of folding 1000 started with her. An atomic bomb was dropped in Hiroshima in 1945 when she was 2 years old. Years later, at the age of 12 she became sick with leukemia. A result of all of the lingering radiation. According to Japanese legend, a person who folds 1000 cranes will be granted a wish. Her wish was for world peace. And so is mine.

I want to thank those of you who have been folding cranes, and we will get to our goal soon. I estimate about 300 at is point, and will have them hanging in the school.

 

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Always a lesson

Everyday I learn something. It might not be something big, but there is always something.

It was pointed out to me today that a technique that I have been teaching isn't what it should be. I thought, holy crap! How long have I been doing that? It more than likely started as a tool to fix something, but quickly became a comfortable change, and therefore changed the technique for me. Yikes. How easy it is to develop a bad habit! Thankfully, it was pointed out to me, so I can now correct it.

Earning a black belt isn't the end. In fact, I think that's where it all really begins. I learn everyday. It might be insights into my reactions, or thought processes, or it might be a different way of doing things. At any rate. No matter where I am, or what I am doing, there is always a lesson.

Sorry if this doesn't flow well. I didn't expect this post to really go this direction...:-)

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Thinking

I have been thinking about the state of my training lately. I am very aware of my limitations and while they frustrate me sometimes, I have learned to make the best of them. And I think a lot of my growth this past year, has been more mental than physical. But I think most of it stems from moving meditation. In other words, Tai Chi. And reflecting now, i have had a few periods this year where my mental state really needed it. I chose the Tai Chi short form for my 1000 reps, and I think it was a good choice.

I started learning Tai Chi about a month after I earned my black belt, and it was instrumental in healing my ankle. (Which broke 4 weeks before). It has been a tool to build the small muscles, and it's a tool which tells me when my ankle is weak. Like Sifu Dennis says, Tai Chi will remind you of all of your old injuries. Not because it's doing damage, but because it points out all of the weak small muscles.

Tai Chi balances out my psyche, and balances my body. It allows me to focus on my chi, and to become more sensitive to it. (And maybe one day I can be an air bender! Lol).

Tai Chi is the grand ultimate fist.

 

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In the moment and things

I have had some lessons this past while about being in the moment. There are many times, where there is somewhere else we would rather be. But having that mindset, can set us up for disappointment, stress, and eventually resentment.

I have been reminded that its important to make the best of where we are. There are many hidden gems in, every situation. Be it good, or sad, or difficult. Taking the time to appreciate where we are, and who we are with, are I think, the key to happiness.

I know I am blessed to be surrounded by people on a similar journey, who share similar values. I wouldn't be where I am today, or the person I am today without that appreciation.

I have been practicing moving meditation a lot over the years, and have not been as successful with sitting meditation. But I think I am ready to start.

Thank you to everyone at Silent River Kung Fu. For being a second family, and providing a caring, compassionate environment for me and my children to grow. I truly appreciate every one of you.

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Another one behind us

We just finished our annual Tiger Challenge on the weekend, and as always, I came away learning more. I learn about things that can help me teach better, things that can help me be a better judge next year, and things that I can do to help my training.

The tournament gives gives us an opportunity to set a definitive goal, and to set in motion a plan to achieve it. It narrows our focus, and allows us to strive to be better today than yesterday.

I watched competitors fight their nerves, and get through a whole form. No matter the outcome, they were a success. It's hard to beat that anxiety and stress of putting yourself out there. I am so proud of all of you!

 

 

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Noodle, don't noodle

 

I think I am going to start this with the more negative aspects of my training, and work to the positive.

I have had numerous injuries over the years, as most of us have and I thought that I should share a few as they offer insight into my restrictions. I had several ribs broken as a blue belt. And the way they healed have kept me from doing push-ups for many, many years. Happy to say that they feel good now though! I have also had chronic tendinitis in my wrists for years. I have a good month or two and then a few bad months so depending on how they feel, consistency can be hard. I broke my ankle almost 7 years ago just before my black belt ceremony, which still gives me grief more often than not. Injuries have the power to focus our training, as well as to help us appreciate what we can do.

When I started my I Ho Chuan year, I could do 10 knee/ knuckle push-ups at a time. That was it. As of September, I could do 20 at a time fairly easily. But then in a sick twist of fate, I think I cracked a knuckle on my left hand. And it still hurts. Poor me right? Ha ha. So, the squat thrust challenge has been just that, a challenge, Oh well. There isn't any point in complaining as it is what it is.

The past few weeks, I have been face to face with using empathy and compassion. And sometimes it's been really hard to do. One of my cats requires daily medication as of a month ago. And she is extremely fussy about her food so hiding it isn't an option. I think I have pretty much tried everything, but have had to hug her tight and force the pill down her throat. I hate doing it, and she hates me for it. She hides when she knows it's time, and I have lost my temper a few times. Not my best pet mommy moment. But I have been really trying to see it with compassion and empathy. Of course she hates it. It sucks having someone force your mouth open and then hold it until the pill is gone. She can't understand how the pills make her feel better, so her reaction is understandable. And I have learned a lot about myself through this experience.

My training has its ebbs and flows, and I have learned to roll with them as best as I can. I get frustrated, and sometimes I don't feel that I deserve the belt around my waist. But I keep moving forward. I see the benefits of journaling and how mental training is just as important as physical.

 

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